Thursday, May 24, 2007

We know you're Here

Monday night while in the store my son B asked for a toy. I allowed him one toy but instead he picked out two.

"Only one toy, Honey" I said

"The other one is for Uncle Clarence"

"Uncle Clarence ?" I questioned secretly knowing who he was referring to but wanting confirmation.

"Yes, he's in my heart."

I then knew for sure who he was talking about. He was talking about his grandfather, my dad.

My children weren't able to meet their grandfather. When they inquired about him several months ago my mom explained that Grandpa was no longer with us every day but that he'd always be in our hearts.

And thats how they know him. Because sadly he was unable to meet my babies. My father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in 1999.

It was the single most devastating event that has ever happened to me.

I miss him. I miss him terribly.

He was the kind of dad that left work and drove across town to bring me lunch at school because I'd forgotten to ask my mom to pack my Friday lunch and he knew that I despised Friday pizza days at school.
He was the kind of dad that took his daughters to see spectacular Christmas light displays and when one particularly fancy display wasn't turned on he went up to the home and knocked on the door. To this day, I don't know what he said to the homeowners but not only did they turn on the lights for my sisters and I they came out and wished us a "Merry Christmas" and offered us freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
He was charming and brilliant and funny and I idolized him.

Last night my dad was in my dream. I remembered very little about it this morning, but I remember my dream took place in present day and he was there talking to my sister and I. I've lately had several similiar dreams in which life is as it is now only my dad is there and it always seems normal.

Until I wake up and remember.

My recent dreams coupled with B bringing his Grandpa up out of the blue tells me that he's here. He's here and he wants us to know he's here and I can only assume he's looking out for us.

And for that Daddy, I thank you.

I thank you , I love you and I miss you. I hope you're proud of what you see.


whiskeymarie said...

I'm sure he's proud, sweets.
Nice post.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful--just like you, my lovely twin!

Butrfly4404 said...

Awww! Is that The Sister???

Hi, Worker Mommy's Twin!!

That was very sweet. Is there an event about to happen that he wouldn't want to miss? There are some times where people come "home" more often. I notice it with my brother, too. More stories, more coincidences, more dreams (my mom is the dreamer in our family.) Oddly enough, he has come to my mind a lot more today even!

Not that it would ever make up for losing him, but you were so lucky to have such a wonderful dad.

Seattle Mamacita said...

stopping by via Janet's glad i did what a beautiful piece i'm in tears here. i've been wanting to write a piece about my own dad for father's day...

Queen of the Mayhem said...

What a sweet post!

I feel certain he is very proud of you!

So.....did B get both toys? That boy knows how to work it! :)

Worker Mommy said...

Thank so much WM!

Butrfly- that is indeed "The Sister". Good question on the event. I can't think of anything but maybe he senses I'm stressed out about other things and is "helping" me through that :) He was amazing , thanks.

Hi Seattle Mamacita - Welcome. Glad you stopped in. I hope you do write the piece on your father. I'd love to read it.

Oh Queen - thanks for the laugh! You're the second person who suggested B might have been trying to work it. He's good , that son o' mine. But not that good. He only got one toy!

soccer mom in denial said...

What a lovely post. I'm sure he knows.

FYI - thanks for the visit. The artist is local but I can give you her email and maybe she can help you connect with someone near you.

I'm at amitchells AT yahoo DOT com.

Anonymous said...

I love it when that happens..My mom's been visiting me a lot lately too...

give your dad a high five from me...

Worker Mommy said...

Thanks Soccer Mom.

Janet- I know I totally thought about you as I was posting. I'm glad they come and visit us too.

Sugar Kane said...

Very sweet. I'm sure he sees your children and is proud!

Queen Heather said...

A wonderful post!

Cherann said...

I'm sure he is watching over you and your family. You're so lucky to have had such a wonderful father.

Chaos Control said...

I love this post. Reading it gave me a sense of peace ... the same sense of peace I feel when my mom visits me in my dreams!

And your dad sounds like a fabulous man!!

Ally said...

Hi there; just stopping in for the first time via seattle mamacita's site. I'm glad I did! Thanks for sharing this beautiful and well-written post with us. The example of the Christmas lights made me cry. What a generous and thoughtful father you had.

bgirl said...

came to yoursite via seattle mamacita...

incredible the force in which are childrens' words can move us and tug at our hearts, your writing captured that feeling, even across this medium.