Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Ariel, this is war bitch!

Normally, I'm not so uh feisty. Wait who am I kidding ? Yes I am.

This time the object of my rage is Ariel, the Little Merbeast!

Ariel is J's latest obsession. She has been for some time.

J has the movie, several Ariel dolls, Ariel jammies, an Ariel bathing suit , Ariel coloring books , crayons, the list goes on and on.

So here's the thing, I've spent my hard earned money (as have other relatives) helping Ariel create her Little Mermaid empire and what do I get in return ?

She's brainwashed my daughter.

Not only has she forced the whole household to watch her movie several bajillion times I think she finally caused my daughter to go off the deep end.

Like last night Ariel just had to go and get herself lost somewhere thus causing J to freak. Poor J couldn't go to bed until she recovered her lost friend. And boy that Ariel knows how to hide. We (me and a hysterical J) had to tear the house apart looking for her.

Damn her!

And as if that wasn't bad enough Ariel made my sweet angel J, use several of my nice new napkins because she was cold and she needed a blanket. To add insult to injury, I guess said napkins weren't fancy enough for that snobby mermaid. Ariel then forced J to color on the napkins and put stickers of herself on them for embellishment.

I guess that finally made Ariel happy because she then went to sleep w/J sleeping soundly beside her.

But then that skank did it again this morning. She left herself at the house , so as to make my daughter purposely throw a fit in the car when I was already running late for work. "I want Ariel" J screamed over and over.

I almost had to turn around to go retrieve that little troublemaker.

Instead, I just threatened that Ariel would need to find a new home if she continued to cause this much trouble and with that J's tears dried up and she quieted down.

But who knows what Ariel will do next.

She needs to come with warning labels. Because if I would have known the havoc she was going to wreak on the Worker Mommy household I never would have invited her into our lives.

Gah, the nerve of her... its just got to be her right ?

It couldn't possibly be my sweet little angel.

22 comments:

Ally said...

This is hilarious. I love your line about Ariel having to find a new home. Funny how that just dried up J's tears! Good work Mama!

Seattle Mamacita said...

do they make GPS tracking devices for toys? The G does the same thing when he loses when of his precious Cars...the whole house goes into lockdown...

Butrfly4404 said...

What a homewrecker!

I guess I should be *glad* that the scummy little neighbor girl stole Sunshine's DVD from her during the birthday party, huh?

Worker Mommy said...

Thanks Ally!

Good idea Seattle Mamacita - that could be our- oops I mean your million dollar idea!

Yep, Butfrly, you were indeed saved. (did she really steal a dvd from Sunshine at her own b'day party ?... Wow, what an evil child !!)

Shauna said...

Shhhh. Don't tell Nicholas, but I have two of his favorite stuffed animals and I rotate them every week so they get worn down the same way. This way, I can wash them (other wise, ew!) and if the 'active' one goes AWOL, I pull out the other one. It's worked so far.

Sugar Kane said...

How could someone who combs her hair with a fork do that to your napkins? What a bitch.

I felt the same way about Caillou. Magoo was devestated when Caillou 'lost his voice' and wasn't able to sing his happy little song any more.

Worker Mommy said...

Very smart, Shauna. Thanks for tip and I promise I won't tell.

Oh Sugar, don't even get me started on Caillou...that little whiny bastage.

whiskeymarie said...

Maybe Ariel needs to have a little "accident".

I have people who "take care" of these sorts of problems, if you're interested...

soccer mom in denial said...

Fortunately High School Musical is no longer the favorite thing to watch in my house. The only reason I survived was because I had a gin and tonic in hand (if the viewing was after 7pm of course) and I envisioned everyone in drag. That sure made Sharpe the funniest (and most fun) one around.

I'm lucky that none of my kids were ever super attached to a stuffed animal, blanket or doll. You're story only reinforces that! Thanks for the laugh.

~Jennifer said...

LOL! My three year old has an Ariel toothbrush, and she calls her "Oreo". That is the only mermaid paraphernalia we have in the house, and now that you've warned me I'll be very careful about letting anything else slip by. ;-)

Brillig said...

"I think she finally caused my daughter to go off the deep end." Um, hon? I don't think it's your daughter who's gone off the deep end...

So, yeah. Good luck with your mermaid brawling... :-)

Worker Mommy said...

So you figured me out Brill...yes it is me thats going ...or gone off the deep end.

But its all that damn mermaid's fault...so I think going to take WhiskeyMarie up on her offer.

Lene said...

Oh I am so glad that my boys haven't found a little friend like Ariel. I think I would have to declare war too! Good luck!

Jennifer said...

I had no idea that Ariel was such a huge bitch! I'll be sure to keep her napkin ruining, hiding wiley ways out of my house for sure! Thanks for the heads up!

cathouse teri said...

I think Ariel needs a spankin! Or, angel baby. I'm not sure which!

SOMEBODY needs a spankin! Oh wait. I think it might be me. I'll call my boyfriend and advise him of this.

So let me get this straight. Brill is in love with Eric and you are pissed off at Ariel.

(Shhhh... don't anyone tell them... these character are not REAL...)

Brillig said...

Teri-HAHAHAHAHA!

Worker Mommy said...

Good stuff Cathouse, I laughed out loud!

bgirl said...

hysterical. i'm cracking up while at the same time feeling a sense of relief. it's a strange comfort to know other mama's are out there on their hands and knees looking for that one needed item. i am in BIG trouble, one of our *precious* items is a random dog someone gave him from target...a random christmas dog (spot?) with a little music button inside no less, that yes, sadly is shorting out. oh dear.

Anonymous said...

Are you actually serious about this blog. From the sounds of this J must be a little girl, so she clearly did not take her car and drive out to the store for all of her Ariel toys and apparel. You bought it for her so it is your fault and only your fault. Little girls love their barbie princesses. If it wasn't Ariel, it may of well have been Tinkerbell, Sleeping Beauty, or even Belle (even worse would have been Barbies). She loves the Little Mermaid, and so loves her Ariel toys. Just wait until she is older...clothes, henna, piercings, boys, tattoos etc. enjoy the Ariel phase while it lasts.

WM said...

Hi Anon- Thanks for stopping by. And, yes I am very,very serious. I blame all my daughters behavioral problems on inanimate objects. (assuming you have kids)Don't you?

Anonymous said...

I'm terribly sorry that you are serious. Even more so that you are very very serious. I find it extremely sad that you would blame your child's behavioral problems on inanimate objects. KIDS LOVE TOYS and are attached to their favorite toy. The very fact that you referred to this as a behavioral problem is even more disturbing. It sounds like the problem is more YOURS then J's.

WM said...

Ok anon- let me spell it out for you since you clearly do not get it. I am in fact being SARCASTIC.

But thanks for your concern.