Tuesday, May 27, 2008

When you have enough work to choke a mule...

You kinda disappear from the blogosphere for a while.

As much as I love to blog and frankly have never shied away from doing so during working hours, my co-worker has indicated she is overwhelmed. Because my boss has come in to my office and most likely caught me on the internet one too many times she assumed I didn't have enough work to do
Because we are a team, I have volunteered to take on additional work until my co-worker gets caught up.

That said I'd better wrap this here little post up.

As much as I've tried to figure out how to incorporate blogging in to my job description it never flies with the powers that be. And while the idea of living in a cardboard box and eating leftover remnants from the garbage sounds tempting...mmm I think I better play nice, help out a co-worker in need and follow the rules.

Man, this being good stuff sucks!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Is this thing on ?

Whoa, where did everyone go ?

It would appear my resuscitation efforts for WWYDW are failing. Miserably.

Initially, I wanted to shed a tear but then I thought maybe, just maybe y'all have better things to do then answer my crazy questions.

And maybe,just maybe it's going to be 87 degrees in your neck of the woods like it is in mine and you figured - who has time for blogging ? I'm going to go bask in the sun, dammit!

Yeah, I totally get it.

And with that I'm out. The sun is making me positively giddy and I must find trouble to get in to at once.

May you have lovely weekends!


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Resuscitation of WWYDW

I have issues with commitment. At least when it comes to my blog.

You see I can not commit to a regular feature.

Hence the reason What Would you Do Wednesday (WWYDW) went on hiatus.

Oh, sure, it seemed like a grand idea at first and I was geniunely interested in how others would handle certain ethical dilemmas. But then I was faced with my own dilemma.

Do I really want to commit myself to posting every Wednesday ?

There is that little matter of work for pay and the fact that ,well, I don't get nearly as much done when I add having to post regularly into the mix.

But, as I don't like to be labeled a quitter, I'm reviving WWYDW (uh, on occasional Wednesdays when I feel the urge,that is)

In the last installment, I'd asked what would you do if:

You worked with someone that repeatedly embellishes stories. Initially, you think it’s harmless enough. But as it continues you realize she’s (or he) is positioning herself (or himself) to look good to the boss and go for the promotion you wanted.

Thanks to those that responded and because I think it's only fair here's what I'd do:

I would most likely do nothing unless I really, really, really wanted the job. If I couldn't live unless I got that particular job, I'd then be forced to sit that co-worker down and have a come-to-Jeezus-meeting, in which I laid it all out there. Sure I'd be a ball of nerves doing it but I'd force myself to because contrary to popular belief I work hard. And to let some skeez lie her way in to my promotion. Eh-Eh. Not havin it.

So now you know.

And what I'd like now is for you to tell me something...

You're a SAHM/D (Stay-at-home-mom or dad). Aside from a few after school part time jobs you've never really joined the workforce and frankly compared to your spouse/significant other you have far less marketable skills as far as most employers are concerned.
One day your spouse sits you down and tells you s/he has been laid off. Through tears s/he tells you how s/he feels like a complete failure but knows that s/he can count on you for support. Your spouse then asks you if you'd consider getting employment and allowing him/her to stay home.

What would you do ?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My sweet little ones turned five, it's a miracle I'm still alive

*****Updated with pictures

I have this thing about parties. I love them. Particularly planning them. I get all geekily in to a theme and have to make sure every thing matches just so. I don't know what's wrong with me but it's getting worse. Now I'm obsessing.

B & J turned 5 on Sunday and the last several weeks have been filled with party planning.

Yes, you read that right - several weeks. For a 5 year old birthday party.

B & J had picked Spiderman and Hannah Montana as their "themes" respectively. I'd created the perfect invitation complete with Hannah and Spidey "saying" a cutesy little rhyme that emphasized the fact that we were going to a party place with inflatable bouncers - yeah I know gag.

The location had been picked months ago(we stopped doing parties at our house after their 2nd birthday) but it was the little details that needed to be attended to.

Things like... what to put in the goodie bags(while many moms despise goodie bags, I think a nice well thought out, "non-cheap plastic crap" laden goodie bag is a wonderful way to say thanks for coming), decor, the perfect cake ( see, I told you I get all geekily into this).

Once the invitations had been created and my mother and I fought to the death compromised on who to invite (she wanted to invite the whole preschool class - I wanted to invite a few select friends the twins had requested)
I sent them and waited. Some rsvp'd right away. Others waited. A few days before the party I emailed asking for final rsvp's and got what I thought was the rest.

Until party day.

When families brought siblings they didn't rsvp for. Tweenage siblings that eat a lot.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total hardass but if you're going to bring your bottomless-stomached child please give me a little heads up. That way I can ensure there is enough food.

Running out of pizza does not sit well for a neurotic party planner like me.

But we had cake galore as I'd found a local lady that makes "Ace of Cake" style cakes . Spiderman in front of webbed buildings for B and a pink sparkly guitar for J. The cakes were a hit and might have launched me in to the party planning hall of fame- where I rightfully belong.

Craziness ensued when a bunch of sugar infused children dove into the present stash and started handing things to B & J to open. Thus in many cases I don't know who gave them what out of the bajillion toys they received. ( I was planning on having the twins open gifts at home for not only a more controlled environment but frankly that's a lot to make other five year olds sit through.) But I recovered quickly realizing this years thank you cards would need to say something along the lines of a generic thank you for the gift,we appreciated you sharing our birthday. Not ideal...but sufficient.

It's insane, my house looks like a toy store. A very disorganized toy store. I'd love to donate some if only I could I pry them from my kids hands. Next year I'll wise up and put some away before letting them have at the stash.

The night got crazier at home as they dove into all their toys and I about went apeshit trying to open the fort knox-esque packaged toys. Every single one of them.

But there were tons of giggles and squeals of excitement.
At the end of the evening when they finally went to bed I stood back and stared at these two amazing little 5 year olds that enrich my life each day that I know them. It had been an incredible 5th birthday not just for them but for me. Chaotic and crazy, but fun.

I kissed their soft little sleeping cheeks

and then headed out to the nearest bar.

Monday, May 12, 2008


Comments 6 , 26 & 28 : Not Afraid to Use It ,Lilith Silvermane & Shelly

Hey y'all...look right up there. Do you see your name ?

Cool, that means you'll be receiving a code for a free box of personalized fruit roll ups and a coupon for Yoplait Kids Yogurt.

And for those that didn't win but would still like to try out the personalized fruit rollups simply use code "Bloggy8" at the checkout for an $8 discount. Nifty, huh ?

Now then, speaking of winners I was recently a winner too. And let me tell you this contest was by far the coolest ever !

What did I win you ask ? A $100 donation to the charity of my choosing.

You see Amy has decided to donate her entire 2008 tax rebate check and has devoted an entire blog to it.

The idea for Give It Away is a simple one. I am encouraging people to give their 2008 tax rebates away as soon as the checks hit the mailbox. I don't have an agenda about who you should give to, and I don't want anyone to give through me. I just hope people will give where they see a need.

So thanks to her generosity Doctors Without Borders received $100 in my name.

Incredible , right ? Yep I thought so too.

I'm truly in awe of her magnanimity...perhaps I could stand to learn a lesson or two.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Ode to my Mom

There's an old saying that says something to the effect of you can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives.

When it comes to my mom, truthfully, if I'd had the opportunity to pick a mother I'd chose mine over and over again.

In my mom, I have not only a support system but a true friend. Someone I can laugh with, cry with ,someone who I can call a best friend. Someone I truly look up to and continue to be amazed by.

When we got the call that my dad passed away she suspended her own grief to be a pillar of strength for her daughters. As the only remaining parent to three girls she's remained a rock , holding us up, giving us strength even though she'd lost her best friend.

When she finally was able to retire after 26 years of work she moved across the country and now cares for her grandchildren several hours per day with the same love and devotion with which I have for my children.

When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 she continued to stay positive and now two years later is doing marvelously.

And these are but a fraction of the incredible things my mom has done throughout her 61 years.

Happy (Early) Mother's Day, Mom. I love you more than words can say.

In her honor, I've linked to two prior posts that celebrate her.

In Which I honor my Mother

Journey through breast cancer

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful Mom's out there.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What happens when you have 2 bloggers and a bunch of adult toys ?

On Sunday evening, I was sitting in a room full of sex toys waiting to hear the secret to having it all...sex , sanity and sleep.

You see a few days ago an invite landed in my inbox to a "saucy sort of event" for moms. My interest was piqued because really who doesn't want to know how to manage mom'ing, sex'ing , work'ing, wife'ing and all those other "ings" successfully.

I hoped to have a little wine, hang with fellow blogger Jenny and listen intently as a psychologist,a sex educator and a Tantra teacher imparted their wisdom on us.

Well, as geeked as I was to be out on a Sunday night, sans kids with the ability to say words like climax and p-e-n-i-s without having little ears around I'm afraid to say I didn't learn much.

The tantra teacher was a no show due to an unfortunate mishap and the other speakers while engaging didn't really say much I hadn't already heard,tried or known. Frankly, I didn't get out of it what I'd hoped.
In fact, I kinda tuned out midway through and started chatting w/Jenny.

That was until the woman next to me placed her hand gently on my thigh and whispered "I can't hear what she's saying".

Oops...I forgot there was a presentation going on and I was supposed to be,like, actually paying attention. Feeling much like a scolded child, I tried hard to pay attention.
It wasn't until they brought out the toy stash that my ears perked up again.

My fave ? Why, vibrators that looked like pens of course. Just think what that could do to liven up a work meeting.

Ahem, I'm just sayin.

And no I didn't buy one... but I did think about it.

After the festivities ended, Jenny and I walked around the store to see if there were any "must haves". Nothing leapt out at me but I tell you hangin with Jenny was a delight. You'd have no idea of the sassy, sexually liberated woman I hung with by reading her blog. (of course that might have something to do with her whole family reading it, but I digress).

Sadly ,though, I'm not so sure Jenny appreciates me anymore. It was probably right about the time I picked up the incredibly realistic vagina flashlight and pondered its existence that she probably thought... WTF?? Who is this freak and how on earth did she appear so normal most of the night ?

In my defense...lights coming out of whoo hoos just bring that out in me.

Sorry, Jen.

Friday, May 2, 2008

I'm lucky the FBI didn't show up at my door

Several weeks ago my oldest stepdaughter,TomGirl, left her prescription antibiotics at our house. In a panic , she called hubby asking if he could bring the needed pills to her. As my stepdaughters live nearly 1.5 hours away hubby was understandably not eager to head back out late on a Sunday night. "Will it be ok if I just mail them ?" I heard him asking. "Great, I'll send them out first thing Monday morning" he said and with a quick " I love you" he hung up.

That next morning he mailed the pills and assumed they'd been received until he got a call from the girls mother three days later saying they'd still not received them.
That's odd I thought when hubby mentioned it to me , typically mail only takes a day to get there. I can't imagine why they haven't gotten it yet.

Since the package hadn't been sent prority or overnight there really wasn't any way to check its status. We suggested their mom call the doctor, explain the situation and request a refill. She agreed it was probably the only thing to do at this point and so we hung up and didn't think any more about it.

That is until several days later when I was checking our phone messages and had not one but two messages from an investigator from the Seattle USPS.

"Yes, this is Mr. Jones from the investigative division of the Seattle Post Office and we have a item with the last name WM and your return address and it's leaking a white powdery substance. Please call us back immediately" the message said.
The second one was much like the first except it began "I'm calling again as I haven't heard back". In my defense, it had been a busy week and frankly sometimes I forget to check my home voicemail each night. BUT as soon as I heard the messages I immediately called Mr. Jones back.

He explained in a rather serious tone that they had an envelope leaking a white powder sent from our address. Mildly panicked I explained the situation about TomGirl leaving her medicine and hubby mailing it.

"Um, are we not supposed to mail medication?" I asked innocently.

"No ,it's not that" he explained "we just didn't know what the substance was. We only knew we had an envelope leaking white powder and with the threat of anthrax that's cause for panic around here."

I let out a sigh.

"You really should have packaged these in a small box or padded mailer because we run all standard size envelopes through a machine which caused the pills to burst and leak the powder." he finished.

Extremely apologetic, I explained why we hadn't called back immediately and tried to assure him as best as I could that it was just a prescription antiobotic and nothing more. He was relatively understanding but made sure to reiterate how to properly package these types of things. I thanked him and hung up.

A standard envelope ? Are you for real hubs ?

As soon as hubs walked in the door that evening I told him the mystery had been solved. I relayed the whole ordeal making sure to get a few digs in about his less then stellar packaging skills .

"We're lucky the FBI didn't come knock down our door". I exclaimed, my heart racing

"Yeah" hubby added assuming I was joking "They probably thought we were terrorists... or trafficking drugs"

As I envisioned the cops busting down our door trying to take us away for ...prescription meds, well I realized how damn funny the whole thing really was and laughed not just at the situation but at myself .

I swear sometimes if I weren't actually living it, I wouldn't believe half the things that happen in my life!

Now then, I'm off to enjoy the weekend (which just happens to be 3 days for yours truly,WOOT!). Do enjoy yours!