Monday, August 27, 2007

If the birds are a chirpin' don't come a slurpin'

I remember when I first met hubby. We were like rabbits. I mean I seriously couldn't get enough of him. I remember sitting at my call center job more than 11 years ago daydreaming about hubby and the things we might do to one another later that night. I had an extremely high sex drive and hubby being the typical male had one to match. I miss those carefree days of getting naked at a moments notice and playing a little grab ass for hours on end. Sleep ...we don't need no stinkin' sleep. I'm in it to win it.

But, several years and several kids later, things are just a tad different. Let me start by saying while my desire for hubby has not waned my energy level sure in the hell has. Particularly shall we say in the morning. Let me say it out loud so there is no mistaking. I DO NOT like sex first thing in the morning. I really don't get it. Yes, I know that most men are "at attention" shall we say first thing in the morning. But surely, my finger-in-a-light-socket hairstyle and morning breath would fix that little problem. What's that you say - I should get up and brush my teeth and fix my hair. What's the point ? By then I'm up and if I'm up I need to be getting ready for work or fixing breakfast, or tending to little ones. Mornings at the Worker Mommy estate do not lend them selves to quality lovemaking . And while a quickie every now and then is ok, I'm nothing if I'm not all about the quality loving.

When I question hubby's rationale for waking me up at o'dark thirty for a little mattress mambo I truly believe that somewhere in the depths of his mind he thinks I'll come around. To which I say with utter defiance - not likely! Catch me in the afternoon, catch me just before bed, hell, wake me up in the middle of the night with a nice round of foreplay at least then I'll know I can get a few more winks of beauty rest before I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn to face the perils of work.

So hubby, my parting words to you are this, tread very lightly when it comes to a.m. lovin. The next time I feel that familiar poke and/or the familiar boob grab while slurpin on my neck and the birds are simultaneously chirping don't be pissed if all you get in return is loud snoring or are met with the stinging of a king size pillow smack dab on the side of your cheek.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

27 comments:

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I am with you on this! There is just NO TIME for love in the morning....not to mention....the need for "porno sex" (definition: NO KISSING) due to horrific morning breaths on both parties! UGH!

Sigh....it is sad when sleep takes precedence over sex...but it happens!

MommasWorld said...

Whn I am awake I am awake...time to get on with the morning. I also agree, I would need more winks before really getting out of bed.

Has your blog look changed since this morning or is blogger playing tricks on me? LOVE the new look!

Brillig said...

Hahahahaha. You, I love. Just the title of this post had me in stitches. So... yeah. Good luck with that! (And yes, I am in full agreement here!)

And, HI!!! This new template is GORGEOUS!!! It suits you so well. I love it!!!

The Farmers Wife said...

ha ha, yup can understand this one!

Fourier Analyst said...

Purty new template!! I too am not a morning person. But my grandmother once said, many years after my grandfather had died, that she especially missed him in the morning. When I asked her why, she just gave me a look, and I knew...

~JJ! said...

Wowee! Look at your cool, new place! I love it...


And yes, I totally get it about the waning sex drive..now if only the hubster would understand...

However, if he didn't ask for it, we'd never do it...

I'm pooped!

Alex Elliot said...

I love the new look! I'm all about sleep these days.

Lollie said...

The new digs are rockin. Love the top graphic too.

Butrfly4404 said...

I dislike it in the evening more than in the morning. Seriously, I work all day, drive home with a bunch of psychos - all I want to do is go into zombie mode - yet, there is SO Much to do, I CAN'T. And he tries to get with me THEN. Yeah, right, buddy.

Ally said...

Woa! Fancy pants new template! I love your new look.

Whiskeymarie said...

I am the rare bird that likes a little A.M. boom-boom. Unfortunately, the Mr. works at ungodly early hours, so it's usually out of the question.
Your new template makes me jealous.
I've been thinking of gussying up the ol' WM home. We'll see if I follow through...

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Ha! I just wish my husband remembered sometimes that I'm a woman and a wife and a mother...NOT Jenna Jameson or some other porn star. A little romance would be nice.

Sorry, this post kinda resonated with me.

By the way, your blog is awesome!! Sam did a great job!!

Rebecca said...

beautiful, cool new blog template -
I'm not at my most friendly first thing in the morning either - sleep always has priority!

you da mom! said...

i love the new look of your blog. but i gotta disagree with you on middle of the night nookie. i loves me some pokin' at o'dark thirty!

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

awesome new design! love it!!!

maybe it's because my relationship is still fairly newish, but i'm in at any time of the day or night. i actually have a higher sex drive than the bf, and his is pretty healthy!

Ann(ie) said...

mmmmmmmmmmmm....I'm not a mornin lover either. And the breath....gah.

I ADORE YOUR NEW LOOK!!! =) SO purty!

Omaha Mama said...

First off - love your new look!

Second - Amen on the A.M. sex. You didn't even mention morning breath...ewwwwwww!!!!

Oh, The Joys said...

Amen to that! Give me my sleep!

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

I am SO with you on this. In fact, I think I'll make Gavin read this!

LOVE the new look!

Chaos Control said...

First, love the new template!!

And secondly ((nodding, nodding, nodding)). Ditto on the entire post. Birds and all!

Sarah said...

"...waking me up at o'dark thirty for a little mattress mambo..."

I snorted out loud when I read this. You are too freakin funny!

Cherann said...

I'm not a morning sex person either. I like the night.

moosh in indy. said...

A*MEN.

Lady Latte said...

Sex in the morning is great!! With four teenagers that is the only time you know they will not be awake!! It is also a great start of the day, my stride after such a start is probably better than any stretching at the gym.

But I am a morning person, and have already tiptoed out to brush my teeth!

akinvt said...

Sex in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, when do I want it these days? I agree - being woken up to do the deed is so rude when sleep has become so sacred.

Digigirl said...

Lol! You are sooo right! This should be posted on AskMen.com!

Just found your blog today, but I'll be back. Love the design, too!

bellevelma said...

LOL! I'm with you on this one. Six years after my son was born and I am still trying to catch up on all the sleep I lost when he was an infant. Wake me up before I absolutely HAVE to be up and risk your life!