Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Wife, Mother...Thief ?

I was just commenting yesterday on a post in which someone wrote about shopping trips with the toddler set being a nightmare.

In the past, I've had several trips that had been such torture for me that in fact I began to despise grocery shopping and refused to do it with the twins. Now that they are older its not nearly as bad but I still try and make my shopping trips with them brief when I'm without hubby for reinforcement.

Last night as I drove home from work, I tried to visualize the contents of my refrigerator in hopes that some magical ingredient I'd previously not thought about would materialize and enable me to make the most spectacular dinner.
But wish as I might I knew that ingredient didn't exist and so I resolved to stop in to the store quickly before going home.
There is a new market I've been wanting to check out for some time so I decided I'd finally pay it a visit .
The trip started uneventfully enough. Sure we had a brief argument about which twin would sit where in the cart but it was short lived and I was instantly enticed by all the pretty vegetables, and next to that was the most divine cheese and wine display. Maybe this trip wouldn't be such a short trip after all I thought.

Kids happy - check, kids bladders emptied - check , cell phone on in case hubby starts to wonder where we are - check.

Things seemed to be in order so I took my time and casually threw things in to my cart that struck my fancy.
When we finally reached the checkout the kids had had enough. They had began to call the checkout girl banana head (you see that's B's new thing he takes any word and puts the word head behind it and it sends him into a fit of giggles, me...not so much.)
I was eager to get them out of there and realized that I was playing with fire by keeping them in there for too long.

Only when I had gotten out of the store and to my car, taken both kids out of the cart and buckled them in to car seats did I realize that tucked underneath J's blankie was a carton of grape tomatoes. Oops, what to do ? Do I rush back in and tell them or do I make a run for it. By that time the kids had gotten cranky as it was hot, my cars ac is broken and both they and I had enough.
So I sped off , with the thought that I will return tomorrow to pay for the ill-gotten tomatoes.
Yep, hi I'm Worker Mommy and I'm a shoplifter.

I know, I know...I'm seriously goin to hell for this one.

17 comments:

~JJ! said...

Nah! I've done it...actually every week at Whole Foods...

Fa steals stuff every time we are there...I know, I'm setting a bad example...But what's a peach among shoppers anyway?

a happier girl said...

Don't feel bad. We've all done it. The Mom Trap wrote recently about accidentally taking a $6 stuffed duck the same way. I couldn't believe it but some people thought you should actually unstrap both kids and go back in. That's insane. What about all the times they overcharge you for things and you don't notice because you're busy telling your kid to put the candy bars back. I don't see them tracking me down to give me my money back.

Jenny said...

oh yeah I have TOTALLY been there. It's not wrong if you don't know until you're in the car! (at least that's what I tell myself)

Fourier Analyst said...

I guarantee they will be in shock when you come back next time and pay for the tomatoes. They won't know how to handle it. Word of caution, don't try and do it when you are in line with the "bananahead" teenage check-out girl, as she will have to call the manager, and the people queuing up behind you will give you dirty looks, etc. (you can see the whole nightmare scenario unfolding before you). I advise asking to speak to the manger when you first enter the store next trip, and hand over the money then. And dear, you are not a thief, you are a "Mom", and with that goes all the guilt, regret, and imperfect behavior that is part of the job description. Any shortcut that we have to take to get this job done is more than justified.

Ally said...

Once I discovered that Eleanor had stuffed a swimsuit under herself in the stroller at Target. I probably wouldn't have gone back in except that Eleanor said, "oh no, we didn't PAY for this," so I pretty much had to set it right. It was disappointing, though, because the Target employee was so hum-drum about it: "a return? what?" instead of exhibiting the signs of gratitude and bestowing the Citizen of the Year award that I'd hoped for.

Anyway, I relate to this post-- the shoplifting, as well as the eating-pasta-again-tonight because I can't face going to the store with the kids.

Lollie said...

You say tomato I say shoplifter. Pah! Just tell them next time you go and I'll bet the cashier says no worries. This is not a Hell Offense, trust me.

Seattle Mamacita said...

"bannana head" so funny....i'm with everyone else i'm sure they'll be shocked when you go back in and pay for it. my mom once caught me ripping open a bag of candy and stealing one piece after she said the big "no" i had to fork over my birthday money to pay for the whole bag...she still reminds me of those petty crime days..

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Thief! Thief!!

I bet it's happened to every mother. No wrries!

bgirl said...

lol....
seems all of us had fridge phobia yesterday...upond coming home from work to empty cupboards, fridget and freezer...i braved the narrow, tightly packed isles of TJ's with son in tow. CRABBY-no-nap son in tow...
though no *stealing* took place..bribery did. the promise of a popsicle for cooperation. is that bad?????

~Jennifer said...

LOL! I'm pretty sure there is no place in hell for poor tired moms who accidently come home with unpaid for produce.

Banana head. Ha! Cute!

Brillig said...

I'm like Ally--on the occasions where this sort of thing has happened, to me, if my kids pick up on the fact that we have something that we didn't pay for, then we take it back. Otherwise... it generally ends up in my pantry. (This just happened with a can of soup the other day. A 90 cent can of soup. Hard to justify pulling everyone out of the car, dragging them screaming and exhausted back through the parking lot and back into the store, and returning the 90 cent can of soup.) Still, I want THEM to know that we have to pay for everything we get. So, if they had been aware of the can of soup, we'd return it. Hypocritical on my part? maybe...

Cherann said...

I think this happens to everyone.

Every now and then the stores misprice things and we pay more than we're supposed to...so think of it as evening up the score.

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

yup. i've been there too. it's never been anything big...an elusive apple, a tiny pack of gum.

and i think the store would rather me and my crabby kids don't come back in again, anyway!

Queen Heather said...

Welcome to the club. We're totally cool.

Butrfly4404 said...

Haha, I must admit that I wouldn't take it back, either. Unless my kid MEANT to take it or caught on that it wasn't paid for, I would just let it go. You weren't doing it on purpose, so it's definitely not a hell offense! :)

Shoshana said...

Oh gosh, this happened to me...and no way was I going back unbuckling my 4 little children who's on a screamfest, and the thought of wrestling them back into their carseat...suddenly, jail seem like a vacation.

Chaos Control said...

I'm a bit late in commenting here, but it is true what the other commenters have said. We have ALL been there, done that!! I guess that makes all of us thieves, eh?