When my mom was a young girl, she and her two sisters hatched a plan to stay up late and wait for the stork in order to beat him senseless. You see my mom is the oldest of seven children and there came a point were she’d had enough and she just wanted "the stork" ,as my grandmother had explained it, to stop dropping off babies at her house.
I really can't say I blame her.
Because right now I'm devising a plan to kick the shit out of somebody that's been a thorn in my side too.
And that somebody is Mother Nature.
It's late July and while just about every other state in the U.S is enjoying a pleasant sunny day we here in Washington have been experiencing rain. All frickin, flarn filth flarn weekend.
Yes, I do live in the Seattle area and yes it does rain quite often...but really not nearly as much as people would like to think and not usually this late in to July.
So Dear Mother Nature,
Before I resort to violence can I ask that you please give me a break here.
I can't afford to travel to a tropical island, nor can I afford medications for year round Seasonal Affective Disorder so please, please let the sun shine down on me.
Know your role. It's almost August. You are supposed to be gracing us with warm rays of sun not gray, drizzly, muggy, madness.
Now, if I do not see immediate improvement I shall proceed with the beat down.