Wednesday, July 2, 2008

When marrying web based email programs becomes legal, Gmail, I'm getting down on one knee

Sure Gmail is efficient, has humongous storage capacity and lets me chat as much as I want but no that's not why I want to make Gmail my betrothed.

It's because Gmail is so "intuitive". When I send an email about baby showers you offer me little nuggets of goodness by way of sponsored links that tell me where I can find baby shower games online, or just the perfect shower gift. Oh how I love how you love to make my life easier. You understand that I'm a busy woman, you get me. And that is important in a relationship.

I'm sorry to have tested you earlier, but sometimes I worry that you are too good to be true. So no, I don't really want to be a stripper . But hey thanks for the link to the stripper clothing sale. If I do reconsider my career, I may look in to the dis-robing arts because hell, I might actually look halfway decent in those patent leather, thigh-high platform stilletto lace up boots and at 40% off - how could I resist! ?

And I'm ecstatic that when I asked if I had a big arse you effectively dodged that question instead pointing me in the direction of a website in which I can make custom jeans that will flatter my butt. Good lookin out, G!


And most importantly , I'm happy to know you will not cheat on me, all I need to do is head over and purchase some of that monitoring software you hipped me to and I'm golden.

Gmail , you rule , you rule like no other has ever ruled before. I now know we were meant for each other

But I do have one small request and please don't interpret this as disrespect because obviously I'm smitten w/you.

But please, enough of the spam recipes already ! Sure I may have eaten spam as a kid (In fact more times then I care to mention). But I think you get a sense of who I am and that's certainly not a woman that wants to make spam hashbrown bake or spam and spinach tortillas.

So you work on that little, itty bitty teensy weensy thing and I promise we're headed down the aisle tomorrow (sorry hubby, bigamy be damned)

14 comments:

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

You're hilarious! I love gmail, but those ads really are annoying.

Worker Mommy said...

Yeah,they used to creep me the hell out. Now I just think they are downright funny which lead me to "testing" it to see what it would return when I sent emails about big asses and strippers.

CDP said...

Hilarious. Now I have to go try that. I opened a gmail account just to start my blog, but I don't use it. Mebbe that has to change. (oh no I DI'IN just mess with your man!)

Lollie said...

I'm messing with your man too - but the lack of folders is getting me down - this is where my Outlook was Queen...

Worker Mommy said...

CDP- Yeah we may have to box!

Lollie - You're right. I do miss folders. But hey, I didn't say my man was perfect. Close but not perfect.

doozie said...

why do people eat spam, it's spendy

gmail is like our very own magic 8 ball

moosh in indy. said...

Have you gotten the "Blessed Herbs" one to come up? That one will solidify your love of text ads.
Ew.

andi said...

Ha ha ha! Hey girl, long time no comment - sorry about that. I've been lurking around (really!)

And sorry, but Gmail is taken. He promised himself to me last week. I'm all about the bigamy.

Melain said...

Spam? REAL, HONEST TO GOD SPAM?! That's a relationship deal-breaker right there. :)

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I love gmail.

Mrs. Tantrum said...

Spam? You have eaten it? Gross. I am scared of any meat that comes in a metal container. It seems wrong and sacrilegious. I should check out the gmail that I set up for the MOMS Club. It is probably just full of SPAM about enlarging things, but what the hell. I need a good laugh this week!

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

Oh yes, I've blogged about being Google's whore (gmail, blogger, google sms, docs, spreads, reader, analytics, etc........).

I posted shoes today. (!!)

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I haven't dated G mail yet....but you certainly have me wanting to!


Man....now my boring old bellsouth sounds even worse! :)

Maria said...

I have been ready to marry Gmail for months. I can't believe I ever doubted it.