Monday, July 14, 2008

Teenagers are nutjobs, this and other fascinating nuggets of knowledge learned from the weekend

  • I don't know who to blame, Hubby or TomGirl. But all I know is somebody asked and somebody relented and my 15 year old stepdaughter polished off a 72 ounce Big Gulp in less then an hour. When she walked in the door Friday evening it was as if she'd just come straight from the crack house. Or Speed house, rather, that is if Speed houses actually exist. She was pacing , walking around in circles, jumping up and down and telling me about her week at warp speed. Hubby and I kept looking at each other in a "stop-the-ride-I-wanna-get-off" kind of way until we could finally take no more and sent her spastic ass to her room to sleep it off.

    Never in my life have I seen caffeine affect someone in that manner. And believe me I would know. I have a Diet Coke habit that takes me through a 12 pack and a 1/2 in one week.... sometimes more.

  • The following day when TomGirl had returned to her normal self the fam headed to a local fair at which she begged and begged for money for a henna tattoo. When again certain people relented TomGirl came back with a tattoo with her boyfriend's intitials. Her boyfriend she's been dating for ,oh, 2 days.

    See, I told you teenagers are nutjobs and I suppose if I wasn't such a nutjob myself I'd have been much more annoyed.

  • My son,B, who recently realized that he was "older" then his twin sister by 2 minutes thinks it gives him license to do things older people do. "Mom," he said to me Saturday (and with a very serious face I might add)"since I'm 2 minutes older can I unplug the fan and plug it in in my tent". And with the strength of mule, I succeeded in not cracking a smile when I told him "Nope, nu-uh, no-way, you need to be a little bit older then 'two minutes' to be touching plugs". He also now refers to his twin sister as his little sister. Hmm, maybe 5 year olds are nutjobs too.

  • Breyers, Fat Free, Double Churn Caramel Swirl ice cream rules the world. And yes I did say fat free...which in effect would seem to defeat the purpose of eating ice cream but mamas gotta try and keep her girlish figure (or get it back anyway) and so I bought it. And well, after Gmail, I might marry it. Either that or just lay nekkid in it for a while. Yep it's that good.

    And that, mah friends is the wisdom I gained from my weekend.

    I'm so glad we had this time together.
  • 15 comments:

    Gen said...

    I can confirm that 5 year olds and teenagers are nutjobs, but then there's a little nutjob in all of us, I think. "Little sister," lol. How cute!

    Anonymous said...

    That's why I avoid teenagers. They scare me!

    Ann(ie) said...

    okay, I need to find a fat free ice cream I want to marry. Right now I've been choosing to lay nekkid in the very evil Haagen Daaz cookie dough and it's wreaking havoc on my ass.

    The Laundress said...

    All kids are nutjobs...any age.

    And I happen to want to marry Stonyfield Farms Minty Chocolate Chip Frozen Yogurt.

    Queen of the Mayhem said...

    I think ALL kids are nutjobs! Now...I am off to buy that ice cream!

    Queen of the Mayhem said...

    DANG IT! JJ stole my comment! :)

    Whiskeymarie said...

    I am currently too busy making out with fat free fudgecicles to bother with ice cream, but when I tire of these I'll give your new favorite a try.
    At 15 I was a moody, unpredictable swirling mass of hormones.
    Good luck.

    Claire said...

    When my older son was about 3, my husband (against my strongly-stated wishes) allowed him to finish half of a Coke. When he was still up and bouncing off the walls at 11 pm, I said "good luck with that!" and went to bed. Needless to say, he understood after that why I don't allow them to have soda, ESPECIALLY caffeinated.

    Virtualsprite said...

    Yep... gotta agree with everyone else that kids are nutjobs.

    You should see what caffeine does to my 13-year-old. There is a reason I don't allow ANYONE in the house to buy Mountain Dew. EVER. It's bad.

    Now I'm hungry for ice cream. Must go to store during lunch break.

    Not Afraid to Use It said...

    Ha! And I love all the studies that say that caffeine and sugar do not affect the behavior of children. On what planet?

    Sadly, as a teenager, I was exactly how you described your daughter. Without the caffeine/sugar. My poor parents. I know I am in for it when my little one hits her teens.

    MommyLisa said...

    OMG - 15 year old step daughters are insane!!! Mine dump one boyfriend the day after their 5 month-aversary and began dating another the VERY NEXT DAY. and this new boyfriend, or whatever! texts her non-stop and already gave her a HICKY!

    p.s. I think hicky's are the most god-awful thing on the planet and only for hillbilly's and toothless hookers...my hubby says, "She's a Junior" like that makes a difference?

    Sornie said...

    In no way am I remotely close to being a teenager but not too long ago I drank down two cans of Rockstar energy drink and was so annoying and would up that one of my friends slapped me because I wouldn't shut up.

    BiPolar Wife said...

    I am currently having a blissfully torid affair with Ben and Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk ice cream...and I don't even LIKE ice cream.

    Maureen said...

    Um, yeah! I am done with trying to figure out my 17 year old daughter and her moods... I could go crazy trying.

    Brillig said...

    Well, I certainly don't have a lot of teenager experiences, but I can resolutely confirm that 5 year olds are, indeed, NUTJOBS!

    (Hi, by the way! I've missed you!)