I think one of my favorite places to cuss like a sailor is in the car. Its not that I get in the car and just start letting the expletives fly but it just so happens that nothing pisses me off more than people who can't drive, drive way too fast in a residential area and just generally jeopardize mine and my families safety with their lack of driving prowess.
This morning as we headed to FMCP's house this car pulled out in front of me, travelled for about a milimeter and then slammed on the brakes because the driver decided he/she needed to make an immediate left turn. That slick move forced me to slam on my brakes( Although this time the kids were sufficiently buckled in and we didn't have any mishaps.)
I think "son-of a bitch" were the choice words I used this morning.
"What did you say,Mom?" B & J stopped talking with one another to ask in unison.
Now I wasn't necessarily loud with my exclamation but for some reason regardless of how much talking and giggling is going on in the backseat they manage to hear whatever potty mouthed thing I might say.
I try really hard not to cuss in front of the twins and have been relatively successful but this morning the words just tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.
"Nothing, guys" I say in hopes that they didn't hear me.
"Did you say son-of-a bitch?"
So I had to tell them that mommy said something she shouldn't have because the car in front of us did something not so smart and that I was sorry for saying a bad word.
"Well that's ok, Mommy" J said.
But here's the thing, I know that she wasn't just assuaging my guilt she in essence was "ok'ing" the use of the word for herself.
She may not use it today or tomorrow or even a week from now but she or her brother will use it.
A little background: On TomGirl's birthday a friend of mine bought her an explicit lyric CD on accident. My friend's husband put the CD in before I got wind of it and next thing I know Akon (who I don't particularly care for anyway but that's not the point) is singing loudly "I want to F*ck you" instead of "I want to love you".
I couldn't get to the CD player fast enough to rip that cd out of there.
This incident happened back in early March mind you but last night when I was putting the twins to bed J started singing "I want to fuff you".
Thank the Lord she hadn't heard the "real" word - but seriously any tween, teen or adult would know what she was trying to say.
And if she says it in front of somebody I'm done for.
I had to think quickly and say that the song was about fluffing pillows and changed the lyrics to I want to fluff the pillows and that seemed to satisfy her.
One day I know I'll hear something like I wanna fuff you son-of-a bitch and then I might as well hang it up.
They'll probably put me under the jail.
Really, I can't say I'd blame them.