Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Uggh, Know-it-all-Moms...Is there Anything Worse?

Shortly after joining a club for moms of multiples I began receiving calls from her.
At the time she handled the birth announcements for the club and she contacted me to find out when I was due.

Initially it was nice, she checked in on my progress while pregnant and made me laugh. She also was a great source of information and lived nearby so as I was new to this mom of twins thing I appreciated hearing from someone who had "been there and done that."

Until it got to be too much.

I don't know when it changed exactly. Maybe it was when she tried to compete with me on whose pregnancy was more high risk. Upon telling her that I had to have a cervical cerclage and had been put on bedrest indefinitely she said:

" I had to have two cerclages"

Not "Really, what a bummer!" or "Really, I know what thats like and I feel for you"

Yep, I think it was right around that point that I stopped enjoying taking her calls.

Inevitably the conversations always turned around to her and what she did during her pregnancy and with her twins and somehow she always made it seem like whatever it was it was the thing to do.

"You know," she'd say "Perfect and Ultra Perfect are in the water babies class and they are doing so great. "

Only it was never an update. It was bragging and it was annoying.

I quickly developed a love/hate relationship with her. She had been a member of the club for some time and I loved that she was quick to answer my questions about where certain things were or who gave discounts to twins parents etc but I hated that in order to get those answers I had to listen to her perfect parenting tactics and how Perfect and Ultra Perfect were just exceling because of them.

What to do ? I didn't want to piss her off so that the fountain of information would dry up but I did want to minimize the times I had to hear about P & UP and all the extracurricular activities they were in and how truly perfect they were.

As luck would have it, as I got more comfortable with the mother of multiples thing I realized I needed her less .

When I returned to work I experienced different challenges which led me to want to reach out to other working mothers of twins and multiples but that portion of our group had been defunct for some time.

I knew she was a working mom, but this time rather than contacting her I posted to our group's message board. I posted that I wanted to volunteer to coordinate one event and then ideally have it be a shared duty between us working moms. What I didn't think about was that she reads every post and always has the answer to everything.

I think you should coordinate the group she said.

Somehow I let her convince me that I should be the only coordinator for this group .

So I've been coordinating this group for just under a year now and while its been nice to connect with other working moms of multiples I know what her true plan was. She wanted me to run it in name only and she would then send me email after email about how the Working Moms Group should really be run.

Like this morning. I just got this email from her:

When you have a chance, please add the Working Moms lunch to the Events page at www.im-a-bossy-beyotch.com - I know that lots of people look at this page. You might also want to consider sending out an e-mail on the e-mail tree - you will probably find some new moms who want to join the Working Moms group.

Ok, ok, maybe it sounds harmless to you but on the heels of this:

So whats happening with the Moms luncheon. Did you not schedule one for April ?

and this:

I can't make the March event at the Wine Tasting Place. You might want to re think scheduling events on Fridays because they will probably be poorly attended .

I've had it.

I think I'm going to send her an email:

Dear She-Devil,

Thank you for the many emails you have sent over the last couple of months regarding our Working Moms Group. After thoughtful consideration, I have decided to resign my position as the Working Moms Group Coordinator. Clearly you are a better Working Moms Group Coordinator than I. I know its a big job but from what you've said about your girls Perfect and Ultra Perfect they are so advanced I'm sure they'd be just perfect at helping you schedule and coordinate events.



Sugar Kane said...

Competitive mothers are the worst! Sounds like she's trying to convince herself that she's a good mother.

Butrfly4404 said...

Perfect and Ultra Perfect - that's..um...PERFECT!

I agree w/SK...and I think someone that controlling is trying to make up for other areas in their life where they have no control.

Or she's just bossy and self-centered.

Brillig said...

Wow. What a pain. Everyone has probably had to deal with this sort of person, but I think yours takes the cake. I love your email at the end. You should write it just like that. Hahaha. Well, good luck. I hope you find a way to get out from under her controlling thumb of know-it-all-ness!