You'd think that I would have come in to work rejuvenated. But no. I'm feeling kind of surly today. Mainly, because I'm here at work. I enjoy what I do (and the company I do it for) but generally I don't enjoy the fact that I have to work.
I hit this point at some time each year. I just get burnt out. I get tired.
I constantly dream about winning the lottery and having the luxury of choosing whether or not I get up each day and face the grind.
In the past when this has happened, I'd go home each night and vent to hubby. "Oh no" he'd say fearing I might just up and quit but as I am a little over one month shy of my five year anniversary with this company they must be doing something right to prevent me from running for the hills. I guess there are some perks that I haven't had at other jobs. Its a small, fairly laid back company . My boss, with whom I get along very well, has a toddler only one year younger than the twins so she gets it . I make a decent salary,
So why am I feeling this way ?
Because time flies and I don't want to miss a thing. The twins are soon to be four and next year they will start kindergarten. TomGirl already has a "boyfriend" (well sort of - she's not allowed to go out on dates yet but they've established that they like one another, he's given her a bracelet and they talk on the phone constantly). She's 14 now and pretty soon she'll be driving, going out on dates and everything else that goes along with being a teenager. GPT is a talented singer and wants to try out for American Idol in a couple of years. Being a part of these things is the way I want to spend my time. Not behind a desk.
I try and capitalize on the moments I do have and maximize the "free time" I get but sometimes two days just doesn't cut it! I mean when do I get to catch a break?
Sometimes in life we just need to make our own breaks. So I took an impromptu day off and lied about why I wasn't coming in to the office and dammit I will not feel guilty about it !!!
Ok, there I got it all out.
It felt good to confess - but now I'm worried.
Could the wrong internet search by an employee of my company lead them to my blog and cause me to wind up like this?
Gah, I really can't catch a break can I?