Sorry for the terribly long post yesterday folks. I'll try and keep it brief today so as not to be all long winded and windbaggy and scare you in to never coming back.
Because I'd certainly miss you so!
So stick with me for a little bit, this could be interesting.
I work in an environment with many individuals with advanced degrees; many of whom are published. Most of the married females published before they were married and are recognized in their field under their maiden names. Thus they have chosen not to take their husbands last name.
Or maybe it goes deeper than that.
In talking with a male co-worker yesterday that was recently married to a recently divorced woman (did you get all that?) he mentioned that she needed to change her last name. I assumed that he meant to his last name but he said no he really didn't care whether she assumed his surname or not but that she absolutely could not have another man's name. He said in fact that he'd rather her change back to her maiden name. I understand the reasoning behind not wanting a wife with another man's name but because she has kids with that last name she is hesitant to change her name at all. When I asked him how he felt about that he made it clear that he has issues with women changing their last names at all.
He and I have had this debate before "Why do you do it?" He asks " I think its an antiquated, outdated practice and there really isn't any reason for it"
By "you" , he's not only referring to me specifically but all women...as if I could answer that.
I didn't have any hard and fast belief that I had to take hubby's last name. In fact I rather liked my maiden name. After all I'd had it for 28 years prior to marrying him but because I loved him and because it meant something to him that I take his name I did so.
Beyond that I know my name does not define me thus whether I chose to keep my maiden name or change it ultimately did not matter.
So what about you ? How'd you play "the game" ? Where do you stand ?