Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Dammit, I need to grow a pair

I was sitting peacefully, catching up on a little mindless television Sunday night enjoying a little me time when the phone rang. I half convinced myself to ignore it but thought better of it as I didn't want to miss out on any good gossip any friends or family might be privvy too.
Glancing at the caller ID, I stared at the name for a second thinking "I'm pretty sure I know this name....but I can't for the life of me think why". So I picked it up.
"Is this WM ?" the voice on the other end questioned.
"Yes, it is." I said
"This is Rita, Drew's mom from pre-school. Gosh, this is kind of odd calling you about this but..."
Uh-oh I thought as my stomach dropped. What did B say to Drew that I'm going to now spend the next few minutes of my former me time apologizing for ?

"Well my other job," she began "outside of preschool is with Mary Kay and I just got back from a weekend convention..."

Oh shit I thought desperately wishing one of the kids would wake up so I could politely excuse myself and end this conversation.

"... at this convention they issued a challenge for us to approach people we hadn't before and well their products are so wonderful and you're so pretty I immediately thought of you. Are you familiar with Mary Kay ? I just know you'd love the products."

And before I knew it I'd agreed to go to her house for a facial. When really I'd rather grate my eyeballs with a cheese grater.

I tried to think of something , some tactic to stall for time so that I could postpone this facial appointment until the end of time but nothing came. She was just so sickeningly sweet and while I knew it was simply a sales tactic , dammit, she called me pretty and actually managed to come off sounding genuine.

"Crap" I exclaimed as I went downstairs to complain to hubby.
He really had no words of wisdom because he knows I'm a sucker. He's told me before when I agreed to throw a Partylite party for a friend that I need be firmer and just straight out tell them I'm not interested. But when a friend ,that's simply trying to make a living, asks for my help I find it hard to just outright turn them down.

Yeah I know, I need to just grow a pair and tell them "Hell no what makes you think I'd be interested in some shit like that?"

But I didn't and I can't. What is wrong with me?

Wait a minute, perhaps I could shop eBay for a pair. Hmmm, how do you think those are listed anyway ? Scrot for sale, gnads for the needy, balls to the highest bidder...
I guess I'm not really sure but in the end could care less. Hell, as long as they can expedite shipping on those suckers I'm good. After all, Saturday is only a few days away.

26 comments:

Butrfly Garden said...

I'm a sucker for that stuff, too. But I've learned a magical line, "I can't afford extras like that right now." THAT line, would have gotten you out of the facial because she really is trying to sell you stuff.

Good luck, hon! No balls required (think about it, they don't do much but cause trouble anyway!)

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Why do we find it so hard to say no? As if our time to ourselves isn't worth it. I fall for it too!

Suzel's Sass said...

The last time I went to a Mary Kay party I spent over $50.00 on a 5 step process to make my hands smooth. Ugh! Stay strong!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I hate when people do this to me. You may just need to remember that you promised your mom you would take her to dinner that night. Just a thought!

I suppose that cowardly lies are the opposite of "growing a pair"! :)

Bananas said...

OOOOOHHHH you totally got sucked in! This happens to me FAR to often. Pisses me off royally every time!

~JJ! said...

You HAVE a pair...Ovaries!

You can get out of it. I know you can.

Scott said...

Maybe my wife will let you borrow mine. If you get 'em let me know, I'd like to buy them back. ;-)

CDP said...

oh my, this happens to me all the time, too. But you have plenty of time to find an ironclad excuse out of this. If it's a volunteer thing or a person who genuinely needs help, I don't feel bad about saying yes, even if it's something I don't feel like doing. But when you think about it, this is really a sneaky and unfair sales tactic and it's not right for her to abuse her position as a fellow nursery-school mom to guilt you into unwanted purchases. After all, you need to make a living too, and I bet you're not doing it by bothering people at home on Sunday! Stay strong!

you da mom! said...

the image of grating your eyeballs with a cheese grater is going to be with me for the next year, at least. so thanks for that. i can now blame my nightmares on YOU! ;)

hey, i am a total sucker, too, don't worry about it. and then at the last minute, when i've totally led the person on, i'm like, "i actually have no money and i'm reaaaaaaally busy!" it's pathetic!

Virtualsprite said...

I so know what you mean. I just can't say no, dammit. I've bought way too much Mary Kay in my life.

I'm getting better, but I'll join you on your eBay search. They must have them. They have everything else..

Lollie said...

I got your pair right here... http://www.yournutz.com

Maureen said...

Ah, I too would get sucked in. I couldn't say no; so I'd go and buy the cheapest item in the catalog...

Alex Elliot said...

I would totally have been sucked in too! I got sucked into two volunteer jobs this past weekend.

Mishel said...

They always get me too. Just take a pair that's dangling from a truck:) I mean, obviously they have one too many if they're just putting them on their vehicles for display:)

Anne said...

I just found you via Doozer's blog. You are too funny!

Brillig said...

Oh, I have been ambushed with crap like this SO MANY TIMES. The worst is that in the last neighborhood I lived in, it seemed that everyone at the local church was involved in one MLM or another, and I felt like since we were all going to the same church I had to accept their requests. I've used every frickin' brackin' excuse in the book, and still ended up at at least half of the "parties" I was invited to. Grrr. I like your cheese-grater idea. That's seriously a better alternative. Ick.

It's not that I have a problem with Mary Kay or whoever's crap they're selling. It's that I hate having my friendship, church membership, playdate co-attendance, or whatever taken advantage of. It feels completely and utterly manipulative to be invited that way. If I want some Mary Kay lip liner, I'll just call someone. In the meantime, LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE!!!

Lady Latte said...

My poor kids are used as my excuse for everything. Since I have four and that is quite unusual in Sweden I can always say: Well, the kids have so many activities right now, I'd love to but I really can't.

So, yes you need to grow a pair, another pair of kids! But I think the pair of xxx can assist you with that task. (Ohh task is a bad word in Swedish!)

Whiskeymarie said...

Oh lordy this is bad- no one else there but you, so she'll know if you're buying the cheapest thing to just get the heck out of there.
And you can just forget about not buying anything at all. No ma'am.

I say fake an "emergency" or an "Oh my gosh I forgot that I have this THING I need to do- sorry I have to cancel".
Run while you can...

Worker Mommy said...

Lollie & Mishel -

I've seen those "nutz" before and laughed because they are so ridiculously ridiculous. Hmmm but maybe I'll start a new trent "truck nutz" on a soccer mom van.

QZ~Ba Doozie said...

oh good grief....isn't it nice that other moms from school are never nice to you until they freakin want something? I'd grow a pair tonight, call her back and say "you know, I was thinking If I'm so pretty why do I need your shit?"

Rebecca said...

I'm getting a bit better at saying no - four young kids is almost always a good excuse.

I bet you enjoy the facial anyway!

Fourier Analyst said...

Better off growing them yourself darlin'! Just think what little good any pair you find on E-bay were to the seller when you realize what he went through to be able to put them up for auction!!

Seriously, we all have our sucker moments, but when we need to we can be firm. And what can a little facial and pampering hurt? You can always wait until the last minute then scratch at your face screaming and crying at how it burns and you must be allergic and you have to go home right away and take an allergy tablet!!

carrie said...

I need to grow some too. Seriously.

melodyann said...

well, when someone calls you pretty, how can you resist? at least she didn't say, "I'm selling makeup that helps cover up all the ugly and I immediately thought of you!"

And oh my God, you ARE pretty, so suck it up, sista, and go buy some eye shadow or something....

And next time you use the eyeball/cheese grater line? Let me know, so I don't have to spit coffee all over meself again. k?thx,bye

Cherann said...

Perhaps I can contact some of my "Saggy Ball Sack" google searches to help you out.

Why don't you tell her that you spoke to your dermatologist (find one in the book in case she asks you who you go to) and he doesn't recommend Mary Kay products.

Naarski (the Mrs.) said...

That was an unfair ambush. I have also fallen prey to this and always gte mad at myself. But lately I have decided that with a 2 yr old and a 6 month old, my time is just to precious to waste and tell people no. Here are your pair
http://www.neuticles.com/