Evading Capture

It is a known fact that yours truly has somewhat of a lead foot.

Something about being on the freeway or other open road (i.e- non residential) just makes me want to ride like the wind (cue cheesy 80's song from Christopher Cross)

I discovered Friday that two of my favorite things - the aforementioned "speeding" and running my mouth really do not mix.

So, I'm driving down the road talking to my mom, elated to be on the way to her last chemo session not realizing that I'm going a little faster than the posted speed limit.
When all of a sudden I notice two motorcycle cops to my left.

Like an idiot, I do that which they tell you never to do and that I've cursed others before for doing, and that was to slam on my brakes.

Well duh, I might as well have gotten out of the car , and danced naked on my hood saying "Stop Me, Stop Me".

Sure enough, I see Poncharello pulling out from his parked position (aka speed trap) and pulling in right behind me. I continue driving knowing it is just a matter of time before he turns on that damn siren and I'll need to pull over.

And then it happens. Going 53 in a 35. Damn, Damn, Damn !

As I attempt to reach over to get my registration I realize my mom's knees are in the way and perched atop her knees is the sheet cake that she'd bought to take to the staff in the Oncology Infusion Center.

"Who's birthday ?" Ponch asks
"No ones " my Mom says " Its for the staff in the Oncology Infusion Center. I have my last chemo treatment today"
(Go Mom!!)
"Oh, are you kicking its butt ?"
"What?" my Mom asks.
"The cancer"
"I'm definitely trying"

He then looks at a frantic me and says "No need to get your registration"

"Is this your daughter?" he goes back to addressing my Mom.
"Yes"
"Well, you'll give her the lecture on why it's not safe to speed right?"
"Yes" my mom agrees.
Then he proceeds to give me the lecture my mom is supposed to give me and says "You're lucky, you just avoided a $183.00 ticket."

I wanted to stick my tongue in his mouth at that moment. (ok, well not really but I was overjoyed)

So I got off with a warning and promised to pay more attention. Tears of relief streamed down my face because all I could think of was NOT having to tell hubby, who already thinks I can't drive, about the ticket and listening to his condescending drivel words of wisdom about how to properly drive.

I narrowly escaped. Whoot - I would not be joining Paris in a 20 day sentence.

And it was the last day of my Mom's chemo to boot- it didn't get better than that.

So I took that $183 that I would have had to pay for the ticket and my Mom and I shopped 'til we dropped (well maybe we dropped more because of the celebratory wine we drank later- or rather I did )