Thursday, June 5, 2008

That Friend

Did you ever have a friend that while you may not speak with her every day, or even every week, when you do finally speak it’s as if not a day has gone past since you last spoke ? You fall effortlessly in to conversation and when you look at the time realize you’ve been talking for quite a while.

Did you ever have a friend that when you call to tell her about a horrifying parenting moment in which you accidentally let your newly rolling over baby roll herself right off of the bed, has you laughing by the end of the call by animatedly sharing a similar story. A story in which her 18 month old son fell down two stairs and bloodied his lip after she let go of his hand for just an instant . “ Don’t beat yourself up,” she says “Accidents happen to the best of us”

And that friend knows you so well, she can gauge your response to things before you respond.

That friend, when she shops with you will give you her honest opinion on the white pants you just put on when tactfully telling you that maybe they aren’t quite right for you. And you trust her and without offense put the white pants back because you know she’s right

A friend that you can say anything to, a friend that just lets you be you

I have that friend and her name is Kay

As Kay and I exchanged emails last week she mentioned that her annual scan was coming up that afternoon. I asked her to promise to call me right after. She promised, even giving me an approximate time she’d call.

When that time came and went I panicked a little but waited.

When my phone finally rang , I picked it up relieved that it was Kay but quickly became close to tears as she told me things hadn’t gone so well. Ater 4 years in remission from lymphoma , this scan, the scan that if clear would have propelled her in to the 5 year mark in which recurrences are considerably less, was not clear .

I searched for just the right words to say and finally just offered to hop in my car and head over to her house that instant.

But she declined, saying that she’d be fine and that her oncologist will schedule a needle biopsy of the questionable lymph nodes but is not yet willing to treat it like cancer until he knows more.

You hang on to those words , not yet treating it like cancer, for dear life and tell her that you’re hopeful and "lets not worry until we know more".

You end that call on a hopeful note.

But secretly you’re scared.

And as you sit here typing these words at this very moment you know Kay is having her biopsy.

You’re praying for her with every fiber of your being and hoping that the results, although they will take a week to come back , will be negative.

And then you end your post, still frightened, but feeling just the slightest bit better that you’ve shared her with your readers and hope that maybe you will have touched something in them to pray, send good health vibes, whatever they think best

so that that friend ,that you love so much will continue to remain cancer free.

24 comments:

Life As I Know It said...

Oh, I am so sorry for you and your friend.
Hoping that everything turns out ok and sending good thoughts your way.

Lollie said...

My mom just passed her exam last week and we all let out the breath we were holding in. White light sent went her way and now it's time to turn it around and send it to Kay.

Whiskeymarie said...

I have a couple of those friends, and I would die, my soul would be crushed if anything bad happened to them.
Here's hoping for Kay...

Ann(ie) said...

I know that friend. I also know that pit you're feeling in your stomach right now. Praying for her, love. The fact that you're a phone call away and would come over in a heartbeat is just what she needs. xo.

ALM said...

Oh yes. I know that friend. My thoughts are with both of you.

MichaƩle said...

Friendships are God's way of saying "Sorry for that crappy sibling I stuck you with." At least that is what is true in my life. My "Kay" is named Kim. I love her beyond words.

You and Kay are not just friends but soul sisters. I'm praying for you both.

Naarski (the Mrs.) said...

Oh Stac! This story makes my heart ache!!!

Suze's Sass said...

It helps to have a friend like you. Good thoughts going her way.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I know firsthand exactly what you're talking about.

I will send positive wishes for a good outcome from San Diego.

Smiling Mom said...

Oh how very frightening. She's lucky to have a good friend like you!

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

Thinking positive thoughts for your friend and you.

Groovy Mom said...

I'm sorry. It's a helpless feeling, being that friend, but you know, it means so much that you are.

Christie said...

Thinking about both of you right now.

CDP said...

I'm going to say a prayer for both of you. Thanks for letting us know about this.

D'sMommy said...

My prayers go out to your friend and you. I have a friend that is like that for me. She's my best friend and will always be even though we don't talk and live in two separate states. I'm going through some major shtuff to right now in my life, unrelated to my best friend though, and you're being the best friend you can be for your friend. You know she'll call on you if there's anything she needs. I wish I could say something else but just like if someone said all those things that one says when life sucks it wouldn't be something I'd want to hear right now and I don't know that you or she would want to hear it either. Again my prayers and thoughts go out to your friend and you.

cathouse teri said...

I've been through this exact same scenario. And at the time, it really hit me that as I get older, I will face it more often than I certainly care to.

The only advice I can give is to be there and be supportive and enjoy just as much life as you can. This being the same advice I'd give you if there were no cancer scare.

Maureen said...

Oh, I am sorry... fingers crossed here for Kay.

Erika said...

I will send many positive thoughts your way...and hope for the best!!

Jerseygirl89 said...

My thoughts go out to you and Kay, and I'm going to call a few friends right now. Just because I can, you know?

Tonya said...

I really hope it isn't cancer. That is so scary I can imagine the waiting is almost as bad as knowing.

Alex Elliot said...

I'm thinking of you and your friend and sending you positive thoughts.

Alex Elliot said...

I'm thinking of you and your friend and sending you positive thoughts.

Elisa said...

I do have a friend like that, and I can only imagine how I would feel if I were you.

I hope and pray that kay is ok and that there is no cancer!

Butrfly Garden said...

WM, I am so sorry I missed this post.

I hope that someday I have a "RL" friend like you. Honestly I feel empty right now knowing that I don't.