Overheard

With gas now requiring a 2nd mortgage, I've begun taking the train to work religiously. In doing so, I've found that I really prefer it to driving or taking the bus.

I typically come in to work a bit more relaxed having used the ride to indulge in a little trashy novel reading. Comprised of professionals commuting to work, the train is much quicker than the alternative bus that stops at every third block and drives on the heavily trafficked freeways I'm trying to avoid. Plus, I'm no longer subjected to the obnoxious bus riding teens that want to ensure each passenger knows they can use the word fuck in every sentence , or smelly undesirables that have no knowledge they reek when sitting as close to me as possible.

That said, recently I've started to become disenchanted with the train. Particularly in the afternoon. When everyone on the train gets on their cell phones immediately upon taking a seat.
Granted, I understand the need to check in with family after work but that's not what I'm hearing. I'm hearing long drawn out conversations to switch insurance policies, then a subsequent call to significant other to let him know you've done so, then an argument with significant other because he did not want you to switch without consulting him.

Why, just the other day I had the pleasure of sitting across from a lady with a hideous cow print patent leather coat as she discussed her evening plans. "Well I was thinking of picking up a cake and bringing it to him along with a little sump'n sump'n. Then I have to head home and then take a shower and then..."

"LADY," I'm screaming inside my head "WHO FREAKIN CARES , besides if you didn't get the memo, it's no longer cool to say 'a little sump'n sump'n' or any variation of that phrase"

Oh and my personal fave, the exceptionally LOUD mom that was having a discussion with another mom about some neighborhood girl that comes to her house and eats everything. "I mean chips or pop is one thing but she's always in my pantry and its non stop" she bellowed.
When Loud Mom finally ended her call I was relieved , until she felt the need to relay the whole conversation to the passenger across from her. "Drama Mom" she said shaking her head in disbelief. "Soooo ridiculous", she exclaimed!

Her !?, I thought. How about you you ? You are louder than any human is supposed to be and you fail to realize that the rest of us just aren't interested.

Now don't get me wrong, I've taken a brief call on the train before. The key word being brief and even in urgent situations that required a bit more conversation I've lowered my voice.

What is it about the afternoon train that makes everyone turn in to those same obnoxious teenagers I stopped taking the bus to avoid ?

I just don't get it. It's incredibly frustrating!

Short of bitch slapping someone, though, I guess I have to deal with it as I can't think of any commuting alternatives.

But it is getting worse as the ridership increases.

I've actually eyed my kids scooters.

Don't laugh, it could be done. I swear if I have to hear one more time how you sent your outfit to the drycleaners 3 times and they still couldn't get the red wine stain out I'm headed there.

So if you see a little 5' 2" woman on a pink radio flyer scooter headed down I-5 don't laugh. Simply beep and wave and know that I finally reached my breaking point.

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Now then, Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there and all that good stuff.

Mwah,
WM