Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Suck It, right Foot

Remember this letter? The one in which I blasted my left foot for cursing me with the worst heel pain ever.

If you recall, I ended my letter asking that my right foot heed my warning and not pull any similar stunts. That tactic worked. For more then a year I had my right foot cowering in fear.

Until a few days ago, when I started to feel that familiar pain as I first stepped out of bed putting weight on my right foot. Pain that emits the kind of screams from me that only dogs can hear.

Oh woe is me!

On the bright side though since this condition is not unfamiliar to me I guess I know how to cure what ails me. Instead of revisiting the pervy doctor that caressed my ankle and slid off my sandal (rather then asking me to take my own sandal off) and talked to my cleavage the whole time - I'll simply freeze water in a coke bottle and roll it around on my heel, I'll do the exercises, I'll wear the splint and sport tennis shoes whenever possible (Oh if only my body understood what it's doing to a shoe fanatic like me).

*sigh*

On second thought,since we all know it's better to look good then to feel good just send me painkillers. Lots of them. The kind that'll make me feel gur-ooovy.

Yep and maybe some liquor too...

Or maybe, just maybe this is my body's way of telling me I've worked hard enough in my 35 years and that I need to plant my arse in a chair somewhere, relax my feet while 22 year old hard-bodied cabana boys fan me and feed me grapes.

Of course it is, I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out. I'm headed in to go talk to my boss now.

15 comments:

Elisa said...

LOL, I'm sure your boss was very supportive ;-)

But seriously, why not find a GOOD chiro (don't just poick the first you find on the yellow pages!) - I find they are fantastic for this kind of stuff.

I hope you can bend your heel into submission again soon :-)

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Sending you a case of margaritas as we speak!

Oh...and if I said my heel hurt can I join you in the cabana boy rubdown?

....cause it does! :)

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Wait....do margaritas come in a case? No worries....I will make it happen!!!!!

Maureen said...

Aw, so sorry to hear of your pain.

But a Podiatrist with a foot fetish?

Ewwwwww....talk about loving your work....

Suze's Sass said...

If you're boss goes for it, I'm applying for a job at your place ASAP :)

Angie said...

i definitely vote for the arse sitting and cabana boys!

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I see that someone above is sending you a case of margaritas. I hope you share! My toe has been hurting like hell recently.

doozie said...

If your feet talk back to you again I suggest a good dose of dry ice. It seems to do the trick although you won't have any feet to worry about after you are done.

mommastantrum said...

Okay...I will drive over pick you up and then we will get lots of liqour on our way to Annie's! (Well you can get liqoured up and I'll drive.) I hope that your foot is better soon...am totally creeped out by the foot fetish podiatrist.

Melain said...

BLLLAHK! There's nothing more disturbing than a pervy doctor!!! I hope you can heal yourself, SCIENTOLOGY STYLE! ;)

followthatdog said...

While I admire the attempt to live a life of comfort, you probably should just go find a less pervy doctor. Pain killers are great, as is a steady paycheck. I don't think being fanned by cabana boys pays all that well. If you find evidence to the contrary, please post your sources and I'll be joining that party shortly.

Whiskeymarie said...

I'M having some significant right-foot issues right now too!

And, I'd like some vicodin too. For my foot pain. Yeah, that's it. Foot pain.

CDP said...

Oh my, I had the same thing last fall and early winter. Here's some advice that a shoe fanatic will REALLY not want to hear. My doctor told me to get a pair of Crocs (that's right, sister, CROCS) and wear them as often as possible around the house, on errands, etc. I did so and am still doing so, and I have NO heel pain whatsoever. NONE, and this is from not even being able to stand up without wincing in pain.

Ann(ie) said...

YUP. Booze helps girlie. As usual I love the way Faith thinks. ;) I seriously want to quiz you about the heel pain thing. I've recently started getting it too and I hate it. We are way too young for this crap!! Please tell the Queen I'm gonna need a case of them margarita's, too!!!! ;) See you Sat.

you da mom! said...

that's weird. i had a similar thing happen to me last year. all of a sudden i couldn't walk! it went away in about a week. i guess i just pulled my foot somehow, but it was the strangest thing. anyway, hope you feel better. and maybe it is a sign that you need to take a break. our bodies know us better than we do sometimes!