If I was a comedian this would all be much funnier...only I'm not and couldn't even begin to dream up how to make it funny

So I have this friend. She's my best friend in fact. We've been through a lot together (this is where a comedian might begin the joke) Last night she calls me and tells me that the man she's been seeing for, oh about 2 months, proposed and she accepted (buh dum bum...what? Not funny? Right. I didn't think so either).

Before you jump on her, know that I already did it and apologized. I didn't take back what I said. But I apologized for not reacting the way she needed me to. In the end I told her she's an adult and I'll love and support her regardless.

But it's still weighing heavy on my mind. She's only been divorced a year. And while I do really dig her new guy...two months...seriously?

Ahem....

Then about one hour after that call took place I hear my kids running down the stairs yelling "Mom, it's an emergency". Getting up off the couch at break neck speed I head in the direction of the stairs only to find my kids right there and my daughter with part of her gerbil's tail in her hand (hysterical right?).

Resisting the urge to hurl I listened to her story about how my son pulled it off.

It seems that Cutie, my daughters gerbil who has only been a part of our family for about 3 weeks, had her butt turned towards my son and her tail sticking out of the cage. My son decided to pull her tail. I'm sure he didn't expect it to fall off. But to hear my daughter tell it, her gerbil did squeal which to me clearly indicates one pissed off rodent and hello...stop it little boy! But he didn't and look what happened (I know you're letting out deep belly laughs now right?)

The boy child got the I'm so disgusted with you I don't even know what to do toned lecture about how if he can't properly take care of his pet and be gentle then he will not be allowed to have him any longer. He admitted he felt bad. But then all I can think of is what in the fuck is wrong with my kid ?

I have also lectured my daughter many a time about doing nothing when she sees something bad happening. I've told her she's going to get in just as much trouble as her brother for letting it happen. She got that lecture again...for about the 3,357th time.

Nobody writes that stuff in the parenting manuals.

Chapter 10: What to do when your child dismembers a family pet. Nope don't remember that.

So I decided I would try to clean and bandage Cutie's tail. But she's such a fast little sucker I couldn't get her to stay still long enough to do anything. It was all I could do to pour a little water on her tail and keep my fingers crossed. Luckily she went right back to playing and eating and by morning her tail looked to be healed.

But still not funny.

So my husband is sunburned to a crisp and looking quite lobstertastic these days and he has a man cold at the same time. So again not funny. It's just about as pleasant as you can imagine.

So how am I doing ? Eh

I've seen better days.

I'm WM and I'm here all week.

Thank you and goodnight