Wednesday, June 3, 2009

If I was a comedian this would all be much funnier...only I'm not and couldn't even begin to dream up how to make it funny

So I have this friend. She's my best friend in fact. We've been through a lot together (this is where a comedian might begin the joke) Last night she calls me and tells me that the man she's been seeing for, oh about 2 months, proposed and she accepted (buh dum bum...what? Not funny? Right. I didn't think so either).

Before you jump on her, know that I already did it and apologized. I didn't take back what I said. But I apologized for not reacting the way she needed me to. In the end I told her she's an adult and I'll love and support her regardless.

But it's still weighing heavy on my mind. She's only been divorced a year. And while I do really dig her new guy...two months...seriously?


Then about one hour after that call took place I hear my kids running down the stairs yelling "Mom, it's an emergency". Getting up off the couch at break neck speed I head in the direction of the stairs only to find my kids right there and my daughter with part of her gerbil's tail in her hand (hysterical right?).

Resisting the urge to hurl I listened to her story about how my son pulled it off.

It seems that Cutie, my daughters gerbil who has only been a part of our family for about 3 weeks, had her butt turned towards my son and her tail sticking out of the cage. My son decided to pull her tail. I'm sure he didn't expect it to fall off. But to hear my daughter tell it, her gerbil did squeal which to me clearly indicates one pissed off rodent and hello...stop it little boy! But he didn't and look what happened (I know you're letting out deep belly laughs now right?)

The boy child got the I'm so disgusted with you I don't even know what to do toned lecture about how if he can't properly take care of his pet and be gentle then he will not be allowed to have him any longer. He admitted he felt bad. But then all I can think of is what in the fuck is wrong with my kid ?

I have also lectured my daughter many a time about doing nothing when she sees something bad happening. I've told her she's going to get in just as much trouble as her brother for letting it happen. She got that lecture again...for about the 3,357th time.

Nobody writes that stuff in the parenting manuals.

Chapter 10: What to do when your child dismembers a family pet. Nope don't remember that.

So I decided I would try to clean and bandage Cutie's tail. But she's such a fast little sucker I couldn't get her to stay still long enough to do anything. It was all I could do to pour a little water on her tail and keep my fingers crossed. Luckily she went right back to playing and eating and by morning her tail looked to be healed.

But still not funny.

So my husband is sunburned to a crisp and looking quite lobstertastic these days and he has a man cold at the same time. So again not funny. It's just about as pleasant as you can imagine.

So how am I doing ? Eh

I've seen better days.

I'm WM and I'm here all week.

Thank you and goodnight


Virtualsprite said...

Oh, yeah... I've had that same conversation with my best friend. It went just about as well as yours did.

Kudos to you for handling the tail. You are a stronger woman than I.

Hope next week goes better.

ML said...

My college roommate would say, "...but if you want to feel really bad, we should go try on bathing suits under fluorescent lighting." Never fails to bring a smile!

Whiskeymarie said...

If it makes you feel better, this week I have:
*Stepped on my new dog
*Stuck my finger into fresh, squishy dog poo (accidentally, of course. You believe me, right??)
*Had explosive diarrhea
*Tought my first day of a class, with explosive diarrhea.

As to you BFF- Try as you might, she's still going to do it, likely. You've voiced your opinion, now just be supportive and hope for the best. It's all you can do, hon.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

I totally respect your for giving your friend your honest opinion. They say not to make any major decision for a year after a divorce, death, etc. I suppose she is on the cusp of that year, but still. Love and support her knowing that she knows your honest opinion makes you a better friend than someone who would hold their tongue.

As for that poor rodent, thanks for the warning.

Robin said...

Damn, poor gerbil.

The Devil's Daughter-In-Law said...

Oh man, I'm a little horrified about that gerbil tail. I think I would have handed my husband a skillet and demanded he put the thing out of it's misery.

Anyway, it could always be worse. I think if I keep telling other people this, I may actually start to believe it myself.

Adelas said...

Man oh man.

You're probably looking for commiseration (which you're getting from me internally, believe me) and perhaps humor, which I'm fresh out of at the current moment.


You might look into getting a copy of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which - in addition to being the best marriage booster EVAR - has a couple of great chapters on the phenomenon of how people fall "in love" and then the rest of the book is related to what happens when the in love smoochies go away. I recommend you read it yourself, so you have an arsenal of useful info, and get her a copy, ostensibly to make sure their love life never goes stale.

This is totally the first time I've ever stopped by here (found you via the bloggess) and so, I realize I don't exactly have a lot of "pull". But I swear, that book is life altering. It has principles that apply to loving your kids/family - even getting along better with your coworkers.

Naarski (the Mrs.) said...

Omg! That is so much going on!! I always thought the drama between friends ends upon adulthood, but I have found it can actually get more intense!
omg-the varmint dismemberment is crazy!
I went to Cabo for 4 days in Feb last yr and was so excited to show my colleagues my sun tan. But to my horror, the skin was falling off of me the day before work! My coworker says to me "Where did you go the sun?!!" People didn't even want to look at me.

Debbie said...

Bless your heart. You are having a rough time.
I think you need to be honest with your friend. Hopefully, she'll thank you in the end.
And the tail story. I have no suggestions there:)

Ann(ie) said...

I know what you mean.....sometimes those announcements really throw you for a loop and you just can't get on board right away. It's just because you love her, though. Sometimes it takes a while to digest it all.

Hey....will you email me your address, puleez? I am doing thank you's and I need to send you one for the cuteness you bought for Noah. MATEO adores that onesie. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to delete our registry b/c if we get one more thing for the new boy-boy I'm pretty sure we'll have standing room only in our home.