Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What happens when you have 2 bloggers and a bunch of adult toys ?

On Sunday evening, I was sitting in a room full of sex toys waiting to hear the secret to having it all...sex , sanity and sleep.

You see a few days ago an invite landed in my inbox to a "saucy sort of event" for moms. My interest was piqued because really who doesn't want to know how to manage mom'ing, sex'ing , work'ing, wife'ing and all those other "ings" successfully.

I hoped to have a little wine, hang with fellow blogger Jenny and listen intently as a psychologist,a sex educator and a Tantra teacher imparted their wisdom on us.

Well, as geeked as I was to be out on a Sunday night, sans kids with the ability to say words like climax and p-e-n-i-s without having little ears around I'm afraid to say I didn't learn much.

The tantra teacher was a no show due to an unfortunate mishap and the other speakers while engaging didn't really say much I hadn't already heard,tried or known. Frankly, I didn't get out of it what I'd hoped.
In fact, I kinda tuned out midway through and started chatting w/Jenny.

That was until the woman next to me placed her hand gently on my thigh and whispered "I can't hear what she's saying".

Oops...I forgot there was a presentation going on and I was supposed to be,like, actually paying attention. Feeling much like a scolded child, I tried hard to pay attention.
It wasn't until they brought out the toy stash that my ears perked up again.

My fave ? Why, vibrators that looked like pens of course. Just think what that could do to liven up a work meeting.

Ahem, I'm just sayin.

And no I didn't buy one... but I did think about it.

After the festivities ended, Jenny and I walked around the store to see if there were any "must haves". Nothing leapt out at me but I tell you hangin with Jenny was a delight. You'd have no idea of the sassy, sexually liberated woman I hung with by reading her blog. (of course that might have something to do with her whole family reading it, but I digress).

Sadly ,though, I'm not so sure Jenny appreciates me anymore. It was probably right about the time I picked up the incredibly realistic vagina flashlight and pondered its existence that she probably thought... WTF?? Who is this freak and how on earth did she appear so normal most of the night ?

In my defense...lights coming out of whoo hoos just bring that out in me.

Sorry, Jen.


Bananas said...

If I had ANY money in my bank account I would totally be buying you that flashlight right now. :)
that was totally fun. And I love your recap too!

Groovy Mom said...

Glowing whoo hoos? Who on earth could possibly remain normal? ;-)

Bummer that the tantra teacher didn't show up. Here I was hoping you'd have something to teach me today.

tricki_nicki said...

Oh my. I had no idea such things existed. No wonder you were checking it out, who wouldn't?

Brillig said...

"Just think what that could do to liven up a work meeting." --HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *snort* HAHAHAHA.

You shoulda just stood up and become the tantra teacher. Come on, I know you wanted to...

Maureen said...

Well, that WOULD be one way to stay awake during those boring meetings.... Har!

Virtualsprite said...

LOL... I love it.

Reminds me of the party I went to and got extra credit on the sexual experience test. I blew everyone's score by at least 200 points.

What? You've never gotten lucky in the parking lot of a church?

jennifer said...

Next time I go anywhere with another blogger, it better include vagina lights.

mommastantrum said...

Glowing GINAS!!!

I need me one. To flash the Hubby with and stuff!!


Daily Mish Mash said...

You had me up until the glowing vajajays. WTF???!! I'm still trying to figure that one out.

I've never been to one of "those" parties. Sounds like fun!

doozie said...

OK, I'm totally signing up to sell that stuff.

in other news I'm thinking of coming over that way next weekend but wanted to run it by my free hotel

Whiskeymarie said...

Oddly enough, I have never been to one of these parties either.

Ain't no party like a glowing pooner party. Woo!