Wednesday, March 26, 2008

WWYDWednesday: the new class

Hey y'all (I live in the South -- this is my one vice),

WM is on vacation today so I, WorkerTwin, am guestblogging on her behalf. Please be patient with me as this is my maiden voyage into the public blogosphere.

Chatting daily as we do, the WM filled me in on the Wednesday goings on and I quickly agreed (how could I say no?!) to host.

Thank you all for playing the WWYDW game last week. Like many of you who commented, I would feel karmically obligated to "return" the $20 knowing that others have done the same for me (and hopefully would in future). Aaaaaaaa-aaaaa-aaaaaah <-- that's the choir of angels accompanying my good deed...really though, I would also probably spend most of the rest of my day obsessing over whether or not I'd been hoodwinked because people really aren't that honest and I'm a cynic, ya know? But its ONLY $20 so the universe gets the benefit of the doubt.

Now, without further ado...today's scenario:

You are eating lunch at a restaurant with a friend--in fact, someone you might consider one of your closest friends: you've known this person for years, you have shared birthdays and big life moments and been there for each other when you needed support. You are having a great time laughing and catching up. At one point in the conversation your friend relates an anecdote that includes derogatory remarks about disabled people and includes mocking hand gestures and exaggerated speech. What would you do?

19 comments:

Biddy said...

i would most likely laugh.

i'm so going to hell

mommastantrum said...

I would laugh too. (I know that is bad, but I so would do it.)

We even make fun of our own "ethnic" backgrounds...she is Lebanese, and I am Native American...and we also make fun of her sister who is Korean.

Biddy - I will be driving the bus to hell, so bring along the margaritas!!

Butrfly Garden said...

It totally depends on who does it and the context it was done in. Most likely, even if I found it offensive, I would just brush it off and not feed it. If I found it REALLY offensive or if I could tell other people around us did, I would probably say something to the effect of "Aw, that's not nice."

Or, like last night, I was trying to read something Alyssa brought home from school and it said "....Thumb Body Special..." and I stared at the paper for a while trying to make sense of this body of thumbs when Mike said, "Thumb-Body? Get it? Like they have down-syndrome?" I said, "OH! Like SOMEbody?! [realized the kids are in the room] You mean like someone with a LISP is saying it? A lisp doesn't mean you have down-syndrome. You should watch how you say those things." (I had to correct him because of the CHILDRENS). He was slightly embarassed, but I felt it necessary to say something at that point because of the impressionable minds.

But usually I keep my mouth shut. And...I have to admit since others did that there are some inappropriate jokes/impersonations that I would laugh at.

Hi, btw! Thanks for taking over in WM's absence!

Groovy Mom said...

I've been there.

I would laugh, shake my head, and then say, "You are so bad!"

Then I might make a joke of my own.

It does depend on the joke, though. I have been told jokes by people before that were VERY mean spirited (like making a joke about shooting or abusing a person in some way.)In those cases, I can't even drum up a polite laugh, and I've said, "That's not funny."

Maureen said...

I probably wouldn't laugh; I would probably say something like "Ouch!" or "Yikes!" to let her know that's not what I would consider funny... if she were my true friend, I could be honest with her and let her know where my boundaries of good taste and humor lie.

CC said...

I would get a blank look. Go home and curse my friend out. It ticks me off SO much that people make fun of my students and their disabilities. Ticks. Me. Off. I really need to start speaking up. Loudly. Usually people know not to dare make these comments around me knowing my job.

Miss Ann Thrope said...

This HAS happened to me. I had a best friend who made fun of EVERYTHING, nothing was taboo to her. One thing I will say for her, she was absolutely the most caring individual ever. I mean she'd do ANYTHING for ANYBODY. She just had this acid wit and nothing escaped her. I couldn't help myself, though I always found it offensive. I laughed my ass off at her jokes many, many times.

Sornie said...

I got seriously distracted right after the "Hey y'all" because in dealing with alot of southerners at a previous job, (after I thought y'all was just a myth) I was shocked that some people use in almost every other sentence.

TofuDawl said...

Oh its definitely not a myth, but where I live y'all doesn't get used nearly as often as one might envision.

I'm kind of the anti-Southerner in so many ways, but I love to throw random "y'all"s out there just for the kitsch/obscurity factor. It keeps the local hipsters guessing.

Smooches,
WorkerTwin

Mommy said...

I have no words.

It would depend who it was and what they were doing and saying... some people get away with that stuff because of "how" they do it...

Queen of the Mayhem said...

First of all....if you are HALF as cool as your twin...you and I are SO going to get along...LOVE HER!

Second of all...I would probably tell her that what she did was inapropriate. I am not sure I would have said that before I got to know someone with a special child...but now it is not as funny to me. (Though I would be lying if I said I had never laughed at something like that) I am sure the friend meant no disrespect...but I am not a fan of laughing at something another person cannot control.

NOW...show me a redneck or fashion disaster and we can laugh until our sides hurt! ( I live in the DEEP south...there are no shortage of rednecks here...just sayin...if you need a chuckle!)

Doozie said...

Tell her God is going to smite her. no..I"m kidding. I would let it go because seriously, we probably all do something or say something that could be construed as derogatory at one time or another to someone else.
you can't police the world

Alex Elliot said...

Depends on the situation. I would probably laugh and say "I can't believe you just said that!"

Lollie said...

Laugh if it was mild; blank stare and mild lip curl of distaste if it was blatantly awful.

Renaissance Woman said...

My friends know that I don't find humor in making run of people because of disabilities, age, sex, race...you get the point. So I would be surprised if one of my friends forgot that about me.

Whiskeymarie said...

I would probably laugh too, depending on the joke. my friends are hilarious, sometimes I can't help it.
Hello, Whiskeymarie here. I'll be hosting cocktail parties in hell- look me up! I'll be the one wearing red.

But I agree with butrfly- I would laugh most of the time, but sometimes it's not o.k. under ANY circumstances.

Inarticulate Fumblings said...

This would be easier if there were no hand gestures. If that was the case, I would know that the person is telling the joke would be doing it to make fun of people that would actually do it and/or for shock value. Does that make sense? None of the people that are significant members of my life would truly make a joke directed at a person with a disability. Now, the hand gestures... I think that would be pushing it over the line.

In the case of a friend being a true asshole, I would have no problem telling them where to go.

MommasWorld said...

If it is a really close friend surely you can tell them exactly how it makes you feel. I could :-)

Christine said...

Honestly, I would say "...that's awful..." and shake my head. But I'd be smiling the whole time. And I'd move on to the next subject and probably forget about it. But then I'd always remember it.