Just yesterday I saw a man that,had I not done a double take, would have sworn was my old high school boyfriend. The resemblance was uncanny and it got me to thinking. Thinking about mistakes made, faux friendships and the general melodrama that is adolescence.
Will was a great guy. He sang in a band, had a great sense of humor and most importantly a mom that worked late so as to give us the coolest hangout pad for our group of friends.
Everybody loved Will…except me. While I really enjoyed Will as a friend, I just didn’t have those type of feelings for him.
He was a charmer, though, he wrote me a song, he showered me with flowers and everyone who was anyone said we made a cute couple. So I agreed to go “steady” with him. Silly. Yes, I know. But I was 14. He was 16 and part of me just thought it was cool to be dating an older guy that everyone loved.
Everyone including April.
One night at a sleepover, I revealed my true feelings about Will to April.
April subsequently told him.
He confronted me. I fessed up and days later April asked Will to go out with her.
As I reminisced about how April did me so wrong (even though technically I did Will wrong…but,ahem, I digress) I thought even on my bitchiest of bitchy days I wouldn't honestly have done that to a friend.
Just like I wouldn’t have sex in my friends bed with some random guy.
And yes, that happened too.
I was about 20 years old, living on my own working and going to school. Tiffany was a girlfriend I hung out with quite a bit and could rely on for just about anything. So I didn’t hesitate to ask her for a ride to the airport. About two days in to my travels Tiffany phoned me and said she’d gotten in to a physical fight with her roommate (a male). She asked if she could stay at my place. I was of course instantly worried and happy to let her stay at my place while I was away. When I returned, although it was cramped quarters (I only had 1 bedroom) I told her she was welcome to stay until she could find another place to live.
At the time, I worked the night shift from 5 pm to 2 a.m. One night I felt ill and left work around 11 p.m. I walked in to my apartment and didn’t see Tiffany on the couch. Assuming she must have gone out, I headed in to my room to get some much needed rest.
There she was. Naked. In my bed. With some random dude.
At that moment I wondered how many times she’d done that . Had sex on my sheets, not told me and let me sleep in them.
I made it clear that Tiffany needed to leave. That night. And thus began the decline of our friendship. In hindsight while yes, her actions were less then hygienic they were maybe not the worst in the world. Later, I found out she’d lied about the fight with her roommate, stolen money and other such unsavory things so in the end I'd been right on in bidding that "friendship" adieu.
Fortunately, nowadays, I don’t encounter many situations like that. I’d like to think I’ve matured and associate myself with more mature adults.
But there is always an exception to every rule.
Take for instance my friend Regina. I’ve known Regina for a several years now and while I don’t see Regina as much as I used to we email now and then and try to make plans to get together with one another. A couple of months back, I ran in to Regina at the store. We chatted for a while , catching up on one another’s lives and promised to get together soon. The next day I emailed and told her it’d be fun if she were able to come to my birthday celebration. She was more then excited to come.
That is until she found out that I’m friendly with her ex husband’s new wife. I didn’t know the connection when I met the “new wife” Lisa. She just happened to be the mom of my son B’s preschool friend. And as Lisa and I began to talk about stepchildren she said things that made me realize her stepson was my friend Regina’s son. Regina had told me the story before. How her marriage ended because of her husband’s infidelity. Infidelity it turned out with my new acquaintance Lisa.
Sure the situation was awful. But it was before my time and frankly didn’t have anything to do with me. In any event, when I found out the connection, I let Regina know. She asked that if Lisa and I were going to be social that I let her know if Lisa was going to be at any gatherings she’d be at. I assured her that I would out of respect to her but as I’m just getting to know Lisa I don’t plan on having her at the party. And that was the last I heard from Regina.
She simply stopped talking to me. She didn’t even bother to make up an excuse as to why she could no longer come to my birthday soiree. She just simply didn’t come.
How’s that for maturity?
No matter though. I’m no longer interested in surrounding myself with her kind of crazy.
And there you have it.
The instances are few, but they are forever burned in to my mind. You see, I pride myself on being a good friend and don’t think it’s asking too much to ask others to do the same. But eh…I guess I can’t have it all right.
There (*exhale*) that was cleansing.
You ever had a “friend” like April Tiffany or Regina? Do tell? Leave it in the comments or better yet if you’ve got a “whopper” of a tale to tell blog it and link to the post in comments.
I can’t wait….I loves me a good drama.
Umm as long as it isn’t part of my own life that is.