Fine, I emailed. I was in no hurry and told her Wednesday would be ideal for me. She was fine with that and gave me her address. Great, I emailed back. I'll see you then. Wednesday after work, the twins and I drove to her house and knocked on the door.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"Oh yes, I'm WM and I emailed about the butterfly hooks"
"Oh yes" she said, "Just a sec and I'll go grab them"
She reappeared with the hooks I handed over the cash,thanked her and headed towards my car. But then it began. The incessant talking. And that's saying a lot for me because I am a self confessed chatty Cathy. But the difference between her and I is that I try and be in tuned to people's body language and facial expressions and thus know when to shut the hell up.
But not her.
She told me all about her elderly constipated dog, her homeschooled children and the fact that she homeschooled them because there were little boys calling the girls "women" at the public school they were attending.
"I mean I wouldn't want to be called that,"she said "At least not in the way they meant it"
So as I'm trying to figure out how the word woman or women can be used derogatorily she's moved on to how her kids know how to socialize with all ages and how they spent their day at the lake, and that she has a playground in her back yard and we can sit on the porch and have coffee while the kids played together.
You know I'm all for play dates and meeting new friends but typically I like to have just a few things in common with someone before I start committing to play dates and hanging out for coffee. And we'd really not had the opportunity to talk about much. I mean I didn't anyway.
The whole time I'm trying to make my escape she just kept chattering on about her garden, her bushes and all the landscaping she'd done and I'm thinking damn my kids haven't had dinner yet. So I call to them and of course they don't want to go because the "older girl and boy have a Lightening Mcqueen skateboard and a scooter." But,after much convincing I finally got them to say their goodbyes and was able to make my escape.
But then this morning , I come in to this email:
It was so nice meeting you and your twins today (J and B, right?). They are so cute :) Maybe we could find a time in the next couple weeks to get together and let the kids play. Here, your house or even a park somewhere or even at the lake. I'm glad J liked the butterfly hooks. Now my girls are bugging me to get their new hooks up (they needed more space). Anyway, have a great evening. Hope to see you again soon.
Sure the email was nice but I really want to cut her off at the pass. I'm pretty sure I'd rather scratch my eyeballs out then spend the afternoon with her listening to her go on and on and on and on. I told her we were very busy this month but perhaps next month. I didn't want to be a total bitch but I also didn't want to encourage her.
So I just have to hope that between now and then she'll get an email from some other unsuspecting