Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Holy Hell Batman, did I wake up back in High School?

What good would a 100th post be if not filled with scandal?

My intention was to have a fairly casual bbq for hubby's b'day festivities , but as I knew I'd be drinking I felt it best to arrange for the twins to stay at my mom's that way they wouldn't be emotionally scarred by seeing their parents as drunken slobbering fools too disturbed by loud music and would be able to enjoy a "g" rated evening.

I was still cooking as guests began to arrive. (Well, I don't know if you could call it cooking so much as attempting to cook while drinking wine and thus causing my homemade potato salad to become much more of a mashed potato salad. But I later realized drunk people will eat just about anything as was apparent from the men perched on stools at the end of the evening with faces practically swimming in potato salad). It didn't take long for the the madness to begin as testosterone quickly filled my house. We women were clearly outnumbered.
But, one particular highlight was the debut of Hubby's friend, the fisherman's, new girlfriend. Was she ever cleave-alicious. This woman had cleavage for days. My son could have gotten a heck of a lot of toys in there.

As the evening went on and more spirits were imbibed I just couldn't resist talking about new girlfriends cleavage. The conversation went downhill from there.
Hubby's sex starved friend Ripple, in his infinite wisdom thought it would be fun to hit on new girlfriend and at some point during the night ,although I didn't see it- hubby did,Ripple wound up with his head buried deep in new girlfriends cleavage. Apparently new girlfriend began to flip out when she realized she'd been caught and said "I don't know what I'm doing please don't tell fisherman...I'm too drunk" and disappeared.

Oh the scandal. It's kind of reminiscent of the crazy parties one might have in high school...oops I mean college. I was never, ever doing such things in high school.

I have yet to find out if fisherman found out that the new girlfriend was sharing her goodies - but you can be damn sure I will.

And that, my friends, was my weekend. The party to end all parties. Seriously, I don't think I can have any more parties like that. My liver will not survive.

But I am kind of giving myself props because all the cool kids were talking about it Monday at school.


Lollie said...

That is awesome. I"ve said it before on your blog (but for a very different reason) YAY for Boobies!!!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I absolutely MUST be invited to your next barbecue!

I promise to be extra cleavealicious!

OR....maybe not....but we can drink it up...either way!

Ally said...

Ha! Sounds like a fun, and crazy party. Beats what I did last Saturday night (watched a DVD).

Rebecca said...

well.. what's a party without falling into the potato salad and and bit of cleavage-related scandal??!! sounds like fun.

~JJ! said...

Your parties are fun!

Butrfly4404 said...

"My son could have gotten a heck of a lot of toys in there."


She sounds...Uh...a little trampy. "Don't tell" are almost sure-fire breakup words. You did it - own it, girl!

That said...can I come to your next party???? PLEASE??? (Should your liver ever care to participate again).

Oh, yeah, one more thing: The Man told me that same thing "It's a bunch of drunk guys - they will EAT ANYTHING!" when I was upset over my food not turning out right at our 1st bbq this year! Boy was he right! Burned cake, cheap chips - they ate it all!

MommasWorld said...

Did you save us some mash salad?

Glad the party went well. Gotta have at least one too wild party girl in the group.

Yes! invite us all to the next one! I will even pick up Butrfly on my way over. Um, exactly how long does a coast to coast road trip take?

Omaha Mama said...

That sounds like fun. Good for you for not subjecting your kids to such a party. It's fun sometimes, to pretend you can still party like it's 1999.

Heather said...

Ripple was looking for toys.

Lollie said...

~jj!: Your panties are fun!

Chaos Control said...

Listen, and listen to me carefully. You are NEVER too old for a party like that! They'll keep you young!!

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

holy crap, that is hilarious! i love me a good scandal! as long as my name is not in the story, that is. ; )

Brillig said...

Gack! I wish you'd let me call this a Soap Opera Sunday (even though it was posted on a Tuesday... hey, we're lenient) and let me link to it. Hilarious!!!

I died laughing about son being able to lose a bunch of toys in her cleavage. hahahahaha.

Anonymous said...

Bad Worker Mommy! Worker Twin does not approve! Hee hee, just kidding. You are as hilarious online as in person. Glad you kids had fun.

Cherann said...

Scandalous! Last weekend in Sonoma, everyone was talking about my husband's buddy's girlfriend. We think she was a stripper. After seeing her myspace page, I'm almost positive.