Monday, October 27, 2008

When trying to be a bad ass bites me in the ass

If you've read this blog for any length of time you know how I feel about bedtime. If you have small children yourself you may feel much the same way in that getting your kids to bed is somewhere in between hell and ...hell.

Sure we have the whole routine and I get the kids in bed ok. They just don't stay that way. Each night after we've washed, brushed, flossed, jammied and read they lay down like sweet little angels. That is until I've left the room.

More often then not as soon as I pull the door closed they're out and in to something. Most of the time I'll call (read: yell) up to them "GET BACK IN BED".

On one particular night a few weeks back when I'd already gone through 12 rounds of threatening politely telling them to get back in bed I decided to sneak up on them and bust them in the act.

So I crept up the stairs, turned the knob ever so quietly and then flipped on the light and said loudly "WHATAREYOUDOING?"

It was at that moment my daughter fell to the floor, hugged her knees to her chest and screamed bloody murder. There were no toys in sight. Her brother was asleep in his top bunk and I had busted her...trying to get a drink of water from the water bottle I'd left for her.

She screamed and cried for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was probably about a minute.

Initially,part of me wanted to laugh because my daughter does have a flair for the dramatic. That was until I saw that her lips had a bluish tinge to them and she was crying so hard she couldn't breathe. The other part of me said You are for sure going to hell for wanting to laugh. You almost caused your kid to have a coronary. That's some fine parenting there.

Aah, these are the moments I cherish.

Moments which will surely propel me in to the parenting hall of fame. I'm good like that.

*******
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10 comments:

Shana said...

Okay, that made me laugh out loud.
I can totally relate to the bedtime thing. My kids are constantly goofing off after lights out and it absolutely drives me nuts! It is getting so bad that we are trying to figure out how to rearrange our too-small house so that they can have separate rooms.
Thanks for sharing!

sam {temptingmama} said...

OMG I am so going to hell. I laughed until I had tears in my eyes!!

Carter is constantly playing in his room past bedtime. All I have to do is open the door and he begins bawling because he knows he's been caught.

Sornie said...

When you are hankering to get the kids to stay in bed, have you thought of the straps they use in mental hospitals. I'd love to see a kid try to wiggle out of those.

Debbie said...

I feel sorry for you and your daughter. That must have been traumatic for both of you.

Mariposa said...

Nice to be back here. I chuckled a bit...just a bit...but I'm LOL at you...okay...at you...not at her! ;)

Oh my...

Stop sneaking and go back to bed! LOL

MadWoman said...

I'll be right there in hell with you, I was laughing so hard my son was looking at me like I was nuts.

Bedtime is a battle in our house a lot of the time too. I feel for you.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I just laughed too! I suppose we will be vying for mother of the year against one another!

I scared JM like this the other day. I have this fake skeleton on the mantle. It is not scary at all...it has a damn smile on its face for goodness sake! But I snuch up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder with its hand...I thought the child might pass out from a heart attack.

I felt terrible....but that didn't keep me from laughing! :)

Not Afraid to Use It said...

That is CLASSIC! We've been transitioning LittleMan out of his crib and he tried to be sneaky a few times at nap time. Until I peeked through the crack in the door, saw his leg go over the rail. I threw the door open and yelled "HEY!!!" To say he jumped out of his skin is an understatement. I laughed to myself all afternoon. And he hasn't tried to sneak out of bed at naptime since.

Butrfly Garden said...

HA. I have SO done stuff like that. :)

I once went downstairs and yelled at Nicholas "JUST GO TO SLEEP!" To which he said, ":GASP!: Huh? What? What?" He was talking in his sleep.

Elisa said...

Ok, I will probably meet you in hell, because I thought that WAS funny :-P But then, I do stuff like that too ;-)
So should I meet you there then? I bring the cheese plate, you bring the booze? Something that can be drunk at room temperature though - I heard that refrigeration is hard to come by in hell :-)