As part of my children’s co-op preschool program I’m required to attend monthly parent education meetings. Despite the fact that these meetings cut in to my after work relaxation time I generally enjoy them. Snacks, chitchatting with other parents, talking through our different parenting issues and walking away with new and creative ways to tackle them in the end is usually time well spent.
At the meeting a few nights ago each parent was supposed to bring a "hot topic" to the table for discussion. As topics were broached that I felt I had something valuable to contribute I did. Yet I still hadn’t thought of my own hot topic.
I just kept drawing a blank.
Then it came to me, my daughter J and her flare for the dramatic.
“Ma- ahm” she said to me the other day as if it were a two syllable word “you just can’t say that to me” when I scolded her for playing with my laptop and then burst in to tears or “Ma-ahm I just can’t wear socks today ” she’d say in a voice that clearly meant that life as we know it will never be the same if you don’t let me do as I would like. Or “Ma-ahm I’ve just got to sleep in my cheerleading uniform” she’d plead and gesture to it animatedly appearing more like one of my older girls then a 4 year old .
When it came time for the others to offer suggestions another mom that had offered many useful suggestions to others that evening raised her hand. As I made eye contact to let her know I was eagerly awaiting her response she began "Is it possible she gets it from you. I mean I’m not saying it well …and I don’t mean it offensively but just watching your mannerisms you talk with your hands and well I mean you are kind of animated.”
Resisting the urge to deliver a swift karate kick to her neck, I thought about it for a moment. The room was silent as the other moms waited to see how I’d react.
And before I knew it I began to laugh because J is mostly likely mimicking behavior she’d seen from me.
When the other moms realized I wasn’t going to choke her with my bare hands they too began to laugh and after the laughter subsided, someone suggested getting J involved in theater or some type of class where she might be able to have fun with her newfound “talent”.
To which I thought - that could be a great idea.
And as the others made suggestions I didn’t hear I realized I’d gotten lost in the thought of my daughter turning an annoying stage into an amazing moneymaking talent.
Advance several years:
Off in the distance a voice speaks: And the winner for outstanding performance in a dramatic film …
J for her performance in Memoirs of a Childhood Drama Queen
As they announce my daughters name she will take the stage to a standing ovation.
The camera will then pan to an immaculately dressed, diamond draped, sophisticated middle aged woman clad in the hottest size 2 Praza gown tearing up.
"I have to first thank my mom" she’ll say "for recognizing and nurturing my talent early on."
The middle aged, hot-bodied, Prada clad me will beam with pride as she goes on to talk about how "we did it".
Aah... I can see it now.
I will have taken early retirement to a mansion in LA somewhere because my little drama queen parlayed her preschooler dramatics into a career earning 30 million per picture.
My name is WM and I’m a drama queen producing a mini me and damn proud of it