Thursday, January 29, 2009

Things that should never be Tweeted

I want to make out with the minds behind Twitter.

Seriously, I mean how much do you love Twitter ? Sure there are a few glitches every now and again but how awesome is it that you can stay in touch with all your peeps near and far by letting them know what you're doing or whatever is on your mind in 140 characters or less ?

It's quick it's efficient and most importantly it's obsession worthy fun. It seems that everyone is on Twitter, from politicians to Grandma. Even me (I'm Twinmomoftwinz. Follow.Me.Now.). Twitter is sweeping the nation and fast becoming a social phenomenon.

But perhaps some aren't using Twitter in the manner in which it was intended. Like this for instance . Publishing rejection via Twitter. Tacky...
As I read that post, I began to think about other things that should never ever be Tweeted.

Like:

What are you doing ?

  • Trying very hard to poop. Not happening. Maybe shouldn't have eaten so much cheese.

  • Figuring out if this fungus that's rapidly spreading should be looked at by doc

  • sniffing my armpits

  • eyeing that goat in neighbors yard. Never seen him look this good

    or

    @newboyfriend/girlfriend:std clinic test results were positive. Go get tested now.

    @hubby/wife: not working out. It's not you it's me. I want a divorce

    @boss: This job is no longer doing it for me. I quit

    @employee: Your work ethic sucks. Leave. Now.

    @patient: You have the heebeejeebees. This is an incurable disease. You have about 6 mos. left

    I know there's more. There's always more.

    Whatcha got ?
  • Tuesday, January 27, 2009

    And now a kid friendly giveaway...

    But you gotta head over to my review blog to check it out.


    And for those of you that could care less but are looking for something to take your mind off of whatever task you're supposed to be doing but aren't...check out yesterday's post in which my car window basically gives me the finger.

    Monday, January 26, 2009

    When life gives you lemons...squirt them in the eye of whatever force caused this shit to happen



    Picture this, you're headed home on a Friday evening after a very looong week.

    Upon getting in your car you see that your window is not fully rolled up. You push the button to roll it up but it doesn't move. You then decide to try rolling it down first and then rolling it up. Upon rolling it down, this shit happens.

    And the awesomest part, this happens at the very beginning of your 30 mile drive home on the freeway in 30 degree weather.

    Tuesday, January 20, 2009

    It was at that moment I questioned my decision to become a mom

    ***warning, detailed poop talk follows. Step away from the blog if you can't (or don't want to) hang

    Bathroom talk is common in my house. Not because we have some odd kind of fetish but because we need to track my daughters BMs. Seriously, we keep a calendar to document their frequency. Don't ask... it's just necessary.

    My son whose BMs we don't track (thank heaven for small favors) because he's,er, very regular makes a point of telling me when he goes anyway. Hell, he sees all the praise my daughter, J , gets when she goes - why wouldn't he want to announce his to the world ?

    Ahem...

    So Saturday, I'm sitting down minding my own business and my son B says "Mom, I just went poo"

    "Great," I say expecting he'll quickly move on to something else

    "Yeah, and this time it was yellow. Most of the times it's brown but one time it was green"

    Uh yeah. It's at moments like that that I silently question my decision to become a parent.

    Thursday, January 15, 2009

    Let's Talk about Sex, Baby - or what promises to be one of the edgier mb giveaways

    We're all adults here,right?

    Good.

    Come...sit,grab your beverage of choice, kick your shoes off and lets chat.

    I'd like to tell you about a site that may just knock your socks right off, add a little sass to your sex life, a little fun and frolick to your fornication, a little...well you get the point.

    Edenfantasys.com is all about helping every person find a "unique path towards sexual fufillment". Their adult toy store boasts everything from toys (for couples,singles,animals,vegetable and mineral)to videos to lingerie.

    Most importantly the design and content are done tastefully. The site won't skeeve you out or make you feel all dirty and in desperate need of a shower (unless you're prude in which case you wouldn't be reading my blog, but I digress...)

    They've even got a nifty section where they link to relevant articles that educate about sex and sexuality.

    Too often expression of sexuality is shrouded in unnecessary secrecy and shame say the brilliant folks at edenfantasys.com

    I'd concur.

    I grew up in a house where if I had questions, I simply asked my mom and she gave me an answer. Sure she probably wanted to die from laughter when I referred to a c*litoris as a "bean". She might have even wanted to run away screaming when I asked her what coitus meant but she told me nonetheless. And yeah sure I went and told all my friends at school and maybe just maybe I got in a little trouble but ultimately it made me in to an open minded individual who appreciates sex and believes that it is the most natural and (can be) the most amazing experience between consenting adults.

    So lets celebrate being sexual beings. There's no shame in our game.

    And because I know it just isn't quite a celebration without gifts, I offer one of you sexy beasts the opportunity to win any one product (up to $65) from edenfantasys.com

    Awesome! And timely too. What, with Valentines day being right around the corner think about it: How much would you rule if you suprised your partner with a new toy or lingerie (that goes for the ladies and the gents).
    It would be a Valentines day you'd never forget and don't worry, packages are shipped discreetly-- they've got an excellent privacy policy.

    Hell, we spend our hard earned dough on toys for our kids (that is, if we have 'em) why not toys for ourselves.

    So whatcha waiting for ? Go check them out and then come back and leave me a comment telling me what you like (and no I don't need to know your favorite toy...just what you like about the overall site). One winner will be chosen at random from all comments received by 1/29.

    P.S - if you'd like to to enter but would like to be anonymous feel free to do so but then please email me and let me know that you've done so.

    P.P.S. - don't worry I won't judge, in fact I'll think your even cooler because you did enter.

    Wednesday, January 14, 2009

    Vote for me, Vote for me

    I don't ask for many favors. But I'm asking now and promising big sloppy kisses...or hugs if you don't roll like that - if you'd take a second out of your day and go vote

    "We", that is the fabulously fabulous Sam, web designer extraordinaire, and I gave our blood sweat and tears in the creation of this blog header (ok, ok so she did most of the work).

    And to know that you like us, you really like us...we'll that just brings tears to our eyes.

    So thanks, to whomever nominated us. I heart you. In the most intense way.

    To the rest of you,please, please and purty please, go forth and make this blog (design) number one.

    And remember, there are big wet kisses in it for you if you do

    Thursday, January 1, 2009

    The horror that was New Years Eve

    One minute there was laughing, dancing, carrying on and in an instant that changed.

    I can barely stand to recall the scene it was so horrifying.

    5 year olds. light sabers.chaos.spilled wine.

    And then there was you,dear Zune, a casualty of the melee. Knocked to the ground. Landing in the puddle of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay. I rushed to your aid but clearly wasn't fast enough. I tried. Believe me I tried. But then you were gone.

    Oh my Dear Zune, in the short time we had together I had fallen into such deep heavy love with you. I had such plans for our future. Workouts, cuddle time, you saving me from having to listen to the ridiculousness of conversations of others on the bus and train each day. My heart aches at what will never be.

    *sigh* RIP Zune.

    You'll be missed.

    Zune
    12/11/08-12/31/08