Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Why am I a crazy people magnet ?

WWYDW is on break this week because... well, just because it is.

But tell me something. Do I strike you as not right in the head ? Wait, don't answer that. I only ask because over the last week I have been approached, accosted and annoyed by insane people.

For example: I'm waiting in line in Ross minding my own business when out of no where a woman told me she had to pee but they wouldn't let her and she's a recovering alcoholic. I swear, she said it just like that. "Ireallygottapeebuttheywon'tletmei'marecoveringalcholic" was how it sounded. I just nodded politely and tried to focus on the toy I had in my hand. She then started talking about J P Patches. "Do you remember him ?" she asked. "My brother and I loved him. Remember those hats with the balls, oh it was my favorite hat". And then as quickly as she'd started talking to me she put on her headphones and proceeded to sing along shaking her hips and waggling her fingers saying "Gotta listen to my music"

Uh yeah I thought and freakin hell can't this line go any faster.

Or, take for instance that same evening as I waited in line at Subway. Again, keeping to myself a woman with what could only be described as rotting teeth started to talk to me about how she knew another woman in line but couldn't remember her name. "I can't remember names anymore". Then she launched in to a discussion about how her kid is too skinny.

Then there was the time I was offered cheese on the bus by some random stranger. She simply pulled a large wedge of cheese out of her purse thrust it toward me and said "I can't carry it, it's too heavy"

What tha ? What is it about me ? I generally like to be friendly and will chat up just about anybody. But, I'm feeling forced to draw the line.

Here ye, Here ye, " I am not a psychologist, nor am I a psychiatrist or do I care to be offered dairy products from your bag."

There, I sincerely hope that works.

Or maybe I'll just have to wear a sign "If you're nutty, I'm not your buddy...If you're cracked, stay back", "If you're insane...please refrain"


What...too much ??

22 comments:

Ann(ie) said...

Alright girlie. What part of town are you hanging out in????? And hey if someone's handing out cheese call me. I'll come with crackers and we can tag team the crazy and tell her to back off over snacks.

mommastantrum said...

Can I please have one of each shirt as well? I need them for when I pick Toddler up from school.

Maybe you should start mumbling to yourself or not going out unattended. Then no one would offer you cheese or tell you about their drinking problems....but if crazy people didn't talk to you whatever would you blog about?!?

Sornie said...

If you wanted to out-crazy them, just start yelling about how the government is monitoring your thoughts via chemicals in our paper money. That will either shut them up or make you their new best friend

Virtualsprite said...

I'll join you and ann(ie) for the cheese and crackers... I'll bring the wine.

I so know what you mean... I had one woman block me at a salad bar last week to tell me how different the weather had been in Florida just yesterday. Well, honey, you're in Wisconsin now. Get over it.

CDP said...

This post has provided me with inspiration; I could write an entire series about my own encounters with the insane, starting at about age 16 and continuing to the present day. You should have waited with the cheese lady; a nice bottle of wine might have been offered next.

cathouse teri said...

The woman at Ross... I think she might have been my sister. Hee hee.

You must come across as a nice person. Nice persons attract crazy persons. So stop being so damn nice!

Doozie said...

that was highly amusing. Oh, I forgot to tell you? When I met you I noticed you had a stamp on your forehead that said: "crazy people magnet"

Doozie said...

ps, I get that kind of thing too with weirdo's. I just make up something weird to say back to them.

hey, what are you doing a week from this weekend?

andi said...

Ha ha ha. I love the idea of the sign. I always seemed to ride the bus with this crazy guy who sang or counted at the top of his lungs while fingering a rosary. Public transportation brings out the loveliest of the lovelies.

And you seem right in the head to me...

Alex Elliot said...

I feel honored to "know" someone who was offered free cheese on a bus! That is so random.

Doozie said...

the first weekend in may would be perfect so far as I know? I'll be in touch

Maureen said...

Wow. You must have a nice face (I'm sure you do) and an approachable demeanor.

Either that, or you move far too slowly and are easily cornered.

Jerseygirl89 said...

I went through this when I was in college - I was in the middle of Boston and every crazy thought I looked like the coed most likely to chat. It took me awhile to realize that I was making way too much eye contact with people. Even if I made eye contact with normal people, it seemed to attract the crazies.

Or, you could just be having really bizarre luck.

Angie said...

Wonder what would happen if you just acted MORE crazy than the crazy talking to you. Hmmm....I think you should try it and report back. ; )

Whiskeymarie said...

Another reason that I think we were separated at birth.
I get this ALL THE TIME.

Was the cheese wrapped? Did it look fresh? Was it fancy or regular cheese?

Suze's Sass said...

I'm getting "if you're nutty, I'm not your buddy" put on a t-shirt.

Melain said...

I advise against the signs. I tried it and it only makes the problem worse.

you da mom! said...

that's a whole lotta crazy!

Ashley Ladd said...

LOLOL. You must look really nice if they open up to you.

Hugs. It was probably a full moon at the time.

Butrfly Garden said...

I agree that it is probably the impression you put out there, like, "Look! I'm pretty! And nice! Open up to me! I don't mind if you're nuts!"

Because aside from the girl from Famous Footwear who was apparently searching through my purse when she rang me up, people don't normally even talk to me. Maybe it's MY crazy-person vibe that keeps them away. Huh. I dunno.

Other WM - No taking cheese from strangers. Even FANCY cheese! :)

Lollie said...

Oooh, good thing I wasn't you. I can't resist cheese.

ebinbaby said...

This happens to me all the time - unfortunately now it's also occuring for me at work. I have worked with at least one crazy person at my job for the past 3 years. Sadly none of them have offered me any cheese. I find it exhausting and I wish they'd just keep it to themselves!!
Love the sayings - think I will put them as my screen saver at work!!!
Oh and if you're making shirts, I'm in!