Tuesday, February 12, 2008


I left my dentist's office,last week, with freshly polished teeth, goody bag in hand and feeling fine. Dental visits are so far from my top ten list of things to do it's a wonder I felt anything but psychological trauma. But, I'd recently found a supercool new dentist that offered the distraction of a DVD, pillow and blanket whilst they poked and prodded at my poor teefs. In the end,my appointment was relatively painless and my mouth felt incredibly fresh from the nifty berry flavored polish they used.
I was on a dental "high" of sorts. Vowing to never forget to floss and brush after every meal all the time ,every day.

That "high" is the only excuse I can dream up for what I did next.

In my car,stopped at a stoplight moments later I poured out the contents of my goody bag. I picked up the floss,examined it and on a whim began flossing my teeth. In.traffic.

I don't know what came over me to cause this sudden burst of trashiness.
But sure as I sit here typing that is what I did.

Seconds later, I realized I was in a car with windows and not my own personal bathroom. I quickly looked to the right of me to see if anyone had noticed.

Sure enough, someone had. And HE was kinda cute. I quickly pulled my hands away from my mouth and tried to laugh it off. He laughed, then turned to his passenger and gestured towards me and laughed and pointed.
Great, I thought he's teasing me... as if I wasn't embarassed enough.
Just then the light turned green and I made my left turn, glad to be speeding away from my tormenter.
I headed on to the freeway,when of all the luck, traffic began to slow down and HE pulled up next to me. I vowed not to look over and desperately willed the traffic to begin moving.
Out of my peripheral vision I could see my "dental-floss-tormenter-boy" moving about.
Unable to ignore him any longer I looked over. HE was again pointing and laughing.
Traffic began to move and I quickly sped up and away. As I continued to drive, a thought popped in to my mind - what am I so worried about ? It was only teeth flossing. At least I was showing my love of hygiene.

Hell most people get caught picking their nose.

All of a sudden I felt fine once again.


sam said...


You're funny - and right, it's not like you were picking your nose! Hahaha

Jessica said...

Your hygienist would be proud.

Caffeine Court said...

My husband used to shave on the way to work. (With an electric razor-he doesn't have a death wish!)

I'm a flossing freak, so I can almost see doing it in the car.

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

If it was me it would have been nose picking long before tooth flossing, so good for you! ; ) A girl with clean teefs is way more attractive than one flicking boogers!!! ; )

Life As I Know It said...

Yeah, you're right, it could have been much worse!

But what I want to know is why you were flossing after just coming out of the dentist's office, you know, after getting your teeth cleaned?!?

I usually give myself a free pass from flossing for awhile after a teeth cleaning ;)

Lollie said...

At least you weren't flossing with your hair - I knew a girl who did this obsessively - it was gross.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

That is hilarious. I'll bet you run into him in the grocery story or some company party. Hey, weren't you the girl flossing in your car?... LOL

CDP said...

What was wrong with him, anyway? A chuckle is OK, but he was practically stalking you!

BTW, tooth flossing is not even in the top 10 in strange things I've seen people doing in their cars. And if it weren't for my commute, my nails would NEVER get filed.

Whiskeymarie said...

I got busted changing my pants in my car once. For real. I did it incrementally at stoplights.

At least he didn't see your unders.

Candace said...

It wasn't like you were popping zits! geez!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I have SO had the Seinfeld "There was NO pick" moment.

An unfortunate nose scratch in traffic proved to be VERY traumatic!

But....as God is my witness....there WAS NO PICK!!!!!!


Maureen said...

You shoulda flicked your floss at him....


Butrfly Garden said...

Meh. Screw him. It would be embarassing to get caught, but definitely not THAT funny to catch.

I floss my teeth at work. At my desk. I know that's horrible, but I honestly only floss after popcorn (my hygenist didn't like my reference of being a Popcorn Flosser, but I totally got it) and I sit in my cubie ALLLLL day. If someone catches me and thinks I'm tacky, they can take their complaints and shove them...somewhere. :D

Cherann said...

Your Dentist would be so proud!