Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I don't even know what the hell to call this post -signed Frustrated

There is an evil mole hanging out in his tunnel somewhere in the depths of my front yard plotting against me. He made his presence known Monday evening and has continued to taunt me every day since that time with a new molehill. Each one bigger than the next.
My quest for the perfect June Cleaver lawn is dying a horrible death at the hands of this mole.
Never have I wanted to do violent things to an animal but I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it now. I'm thinking of ways I can ruin his little mole world.
But he's smart this little sucker, he only shows himself when I'm away at work. He's probably laughing at me now, silently plotting his attack for tomorrow.
And I , well I just sit here and blog about it.
You've won this round evil mole, but I fully intend on Googling ways to destroy your ass as soon as I can tear myself away from this blog.

Uhh and if anyone has any experience with making these little suckers go far far away you'll have an extremely indebted, but much more sane bffl (best friend for life)

25 comments:

Ally said...

No experience with moles, sorry. But lots of experience with blogging and googling when I should be doing something to combat the problem one-on-one... :)

PS, I know I've said it before, but your new template is just so yummy! I love it!

Lady Latte said...

First I was confused (remember, I am just a da da Swede). I thought about a mole on a face and I could not get your post! Then I remembered my own post from today are got the meaning.

I want to be a bffl so here we go: Rent a tiger! or Play really loud music in the yard! or give up your job and sit with a shot-gun until you get the sucker!!

~JJ! said...

No no no...Those are terrible...

Call an exterminator...

Those little critters make life miserable.

Omaha Mama said...

I'm having caddyshack flashbacks. But perhaps he was chasing ground squirrels? You could pull an Elmer Fudd and stick the end of a rifle down one of the holes, but that never turned out so well for poor Elmer.

Good luck.

Sarah said...

Just like Omaha Mama, I'm having visions of Caddyshack!

Good luck.

Virtualsprite said...

I haven't had moles, but a whole lot of woodchucks. We put live traps out, enticed them in with pea pods, baby carrots and lettuce and then gave them swimming lessons in our pond.

But we live out in the country, so these activities are acceptable. Not sure what your neighborhood rules might be. :-)

Brillig said...

HAHAHAHA.

I fear for that mole, I really do. He's learned, a bit too late, that you DON'T mess with WORKER MOMMY!!!!

Good luck in your quest for destruction, WM.

Cherann said...

We have gofers (of the Caddyshack variety) that have killed one of our beautiful brand spanking new trees. They're a real bummer.

In my personal experience, the husband take care of ousting pesky animals.

Alex Elliot said...

I was totally thinking of Caddyshack also! You can always give a vet school a call. They have wildlife depts.

Life As I Know It said...

No first hand experience with moles...just a family of woodchucks that devoured all of my perennials this spring.
Good luck!

Bananas said...

if you can get that mole started blogging, it'll NEVER come out and the hole digging will cease! ;)

T with Honey said...

One of our dogs takes care of the moles for us. Even though he's not a rodent tracking breed he does a great job of keeping our yard free of moles and mice.

If you lived closer I'd be happy to visit and let him take care of the problem for you. Since that's not an option I heard that dropping asprin tablets into the mole hole helps get rid of them.

Worker Mommy said...

Lady Latte - HaHaHaHa. I love it! Can you talk to my boss for me and let her know i'll need to be gone for a bit.

slackermommy said...

We've tried everything to get rid of ours. The only thing that ever worked was having an outside cat but he's gone now so the moles are back.

Ba Doozer said...

hide out by the hole and whack the little idiot in the noggin with a shovel when he pops up. other than that, I have zero experience with moles other than the fact I'm pretty much an undercover cop and stuff like that, maybe??? as for 23 yr olds I'm gonna get me one and when I do?? I'll do it right. and i'll tell you. otherwise as far as you know, the 23 yr olds are safe thus far from my talons

Ann(ie) said...

heeeheeeeeee.....TOTALLY reminds me of Caddyshack.

But, seriously I empathize. That would SUUUUUUCK!! =(

And um, I'm totally down for the 12th. Do you still have the email about it? I'd really love to meet you!

my minivan is faster than yours said...

Just found you through Absolutely Bananas because word on the street is you kick donkey butt (I love that woman!).

I don't know anything about moles, although, have you considered watching Caddyshack? I think I remember Bill Murray chasing around one of those little guys the whole movie :O) Good luck!

Whiskeymarie said...

I would call a professional so you don't end up single-handedly destroying your lawn like a doofus Dad in a bad sitcom.
Just kill the little turd.

Oh, The Joys said...

We are so far from lawn role-model-ism. No advice here.

CDP said...

Dear Worker Mommy,
I would recommend that you fill all of the molehills with M&Ms (peanut) and cold bottles of beer. We, I mean they, also really hate chips and salsa and the latest issues of InStyle and Vogue. Pizza is an excellent mole repellent, as are home-baked chocolate chip cookies.
Sincerely
Molly Moller
Mole-removal Consultant

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I'm not even sure we have moles here......yeah, well that was helpful!

Hope you rock the little vermin's world!

avanmullen said...

Maybe you should get the ponies back to stomp on the little suckers!

you da mom! said...

my landlord just found this great fake lawn stuff. it looks and feels like real lawn and even has pieces of dead grass in it! also, i heard if you put chicken wire down under your lawn, gophers and moles don't hassle you. but that would require you to dig up your lawn. gosh, i guess you should just get a big dog. my uncle's digs 'em out and kills them!

Butrfly Garden said...

We used to have them at our old house really bad. My mom has killed few with "lucky" strikes of the garden tools (I say in quotes because, good shot and all, but who really wants to stick a garden tool into something with...blood and stuff. eeeewwww). Because of that, I say call a professional. Although I do like some of the other suggestions on here, too!

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