Monday, November 23, 2009

We don't do catty here

My stepdaughter, TomGirl doesn't like girls. Or so she says.

"I just get along better with guys" she remarks "they don't seem to have all the...you know issues girls have"

And while I told her that making a blanket statement that she's doesn't like girls is ridiculous. I kind of get it. Sometimes teenage girls are catty.

It takes some maturity to realize we shouldn't be in competition with one another but instead respect, understand and appreciate one another as females.

I don't do catty. Or at least I try not to. Sure I've been gossipy and maybe even said some things I've regretted before but generally cattiness doesn't serve any real purpose. So when I see that behavior in another female I tend to run screaming for the hills.

Kind of like last night as I sat chatting with a group of moms while at a birthday party with my kids. I'd met and conversed with these moms several times before so we chatted comfortably and easily about one thing or another.

As all the kids stood salivating around the cake, one of the moms,Rochelle, made a comment about one of the boys being on the smaller side. It wasn't said maliciously. It was simply an observation.

But then Janet, who was sitting next to me says "Well, we all know that everybody comes in different shapes and sizes don't we ?" (and even though it shouldn't matter, keep in mind that the boy in question was not her kid )

Her statement was made with emphasis on the words "know, shapes and sizes" while glaring at Rochelle who just happens to be a larger woman.

Cue record scratching as I mentally run screaming for the hills.

Silence hung in the air for what seemed like hours but in actuality was probably only seconds.

Her remark was rude, it was catty and unecessary. And frankly it wasn't the first time she'd said this kind of thing.

So I turned to her and said "Wow, what a bitchy thing to say."

Ok no I didn't really. But I wanted to. Sure her statement was true, but the manner in which it was said was just nasty.

Kinda like when she called me out for not inviting her kid to a party before we really even knew their family. Or when we did finally invite her kid to a party and my husband asked the kids to be careful with juice on the carpet she remarked "well you shouldn't have had juice if you didn't want kids to spill it."

What.the.eff ?

Awesome right ? I guess she skipped out on that maturity piece.

3 comments:

Dumblond said...

I was very much like your step-daughter when I was a teen. I chalk it up to having three younger brothers...you grow up in a house full of boys, you just relate better.
And I am with you on the catty women thing...oh.my.lawd. The last job I had I worked in an two offices full of women and every.one! was a bee-otch. I can't believe I stayed as long as I did...

CDP said...

I wish you had said that to her. That WAS a bitchy thing to say/do.

Naarski (the Mrs.) said...

I also didn't like girls growing up and have a hard time keeping girlfriends now. I'm just the type that likes all my friendships on my terms, which is like most women (?), so we clash ;)