Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Your Help Please

So its almost 10:30 at night and I just finished cleaning my house...alone.

You see my twins sis is arriving in town tomorrow and while she's not staying with me of course I want my pad to be sparkling clean so that she doesn't see her sister for the slovenly pig she really is.

I've known sis was coming in to town for weeks now so technically I could have done this thorough cleaning this past weekend. But I'm a procrastinator. Hell I'm good at being a procrastinator so I stick with it.

Hubby and I laugh because we always wind up doing this intense cleaning the night before out of town company arrives.
Its just something we do. Once we're done and sufficiently exhausted we laugh at ourselves and the ridiculousness of the situation and the fact that we continue to do it - but in the past we've always cleaned and laughed together.

Tonight , no ,hubby magically got a headache and laid on the couch and watched me clean .
Oh I was hot. I was hot, because he didn't have too much of a headache to eat the dinner that I'd brought home and he didn't have too much of a headache to go outside and smoke a cigarette but he did have too much of one to help me clean.

And as I'm currently in the throws of PMS I seethed with anger each time I looked at him.

Which brings me to the help I need.

Please, please help me think of reasons I should not have a headache every time hubby wants to get some for the rest of our lives.

I know, I know I'm a mean evil wife and I'm going to hell.

And on that note , I shall take mine arse to bed. I'm off work for the next two days, I'm hanging with Worker Twin and the word for the day is "p-a-r-t-y" .

Good night my lovelies, thanks for "listening" and I may or may not be around depends on how much trouble the Worker Twin and I can find to get in to.


Anonymous said...

You're funny.

Listen. He'll never use the "I have a headache" excuse when it comes to good lovin'...let the man have his "headache" once in a while...

Then you can have yours when you want...once in a while too...

I use it too often for everything...I'm bad.

Mamma said...

Oh!! I'd be pissed! There would have been lots of slamming and huffing.

Not only should you claim a headache yourself. You should go to bed in something sexy and THEN claim one.

Have fun with Worker Twin. Can't wait for the stories.

Brillig said...

Hahahahaha. Poor Worker Mommy. Yeah, I get what you're saying about procrastination! It's one of my few talents, so why not perfect it?

And I agree with Janet. He's been able to use the headache excuse now, so it's your turn to use it whenever you feel like!!!

~Jennifer said...

Yeah, I'm a big procrastinator, but I'm lucky, my sister is a bigger slob than I am, AND she almost never visits. ;-)

Lollie said...

My Husband and I had a heart to heart before we got married. It was mostly his heart talking to my heart. Actually it was sort of a private pre-vow thingy that we (read, he) wanted to do.

It went like this...

Him (with a tiny piece of his tongue in his cheek): Sweetie, we are going to get married tomorrow, so you have to promise me one thing... Just one thing.

Me (eyebrows raised, small, reassuring smile on my face): Okay.

Him: You must promise me that you will never, ever, EVER use sex as a weapon. I just can't deal. That would be bad. Really, really bad. Do you think you can do that?

Me: I do.

SO! There you have it. I made a promise, I have no game.

Butrfly4404 said...

That sucks, lollie - sometimes that's all I have in my aresnal!

I was trying to hurry and clean the kitchen the other night. I thought The Man was working in the garage. But when I finished, I called for him...he was reading in bed. I glared at him and he sighed "I'll come out and help you right now." Oh, no! I'm done now, MF-er!!

I told him a long time ago that when I have to do all the work by myself it makes me TOO tired to do anything else. It helps, but only a little.

Butrfly4404 said...

Oh, yeah! Have fun with WT!!!

Cherann said...

If its family--don't you think that family would already know how neat or messy you already are? You shouldn't have to impress family right??
Although-- I do clean for my in-laws. I know they talk about how messy we are behind our backs.

Shauna said...

Funny. Have fun with WT. (Neat that you have twins and are a twin!)

Anonymous said...

dang, I want to hang out with you two!

I don't know what to say about the headache thing, I guess it depends on whether or not you feel like stabbing him instead

Lene said...

Shauna took the words right out of my mouth. I didn't know you were a twin too. How fun that you know exactly what your munchkins are/will be experiencing.

Have fun with the sis!

BTW, I do the same thing when company comes - a craze of cleaning. I hate when company comes. ;)

whiskeymarie said...

I try to only clean that which they will actually see.
Everything else, just shut the door.

Have fun with the sis- do vegans know how to get their party pants on? I don't think I know anyone vegan. All of my friends like bacon. A lot.

Have a great weekend!

T with Honey said...

I would have handed him 2 Excedrin and said "See ya in half an hour. And don't forget the Swiffer."

yerdoingitwrong said...



And I needed it today.

yeah, take that hubby!

moosh in indy. said...

See the Queen of Shake Shake's Nut Knocker, it may have backfired on her but you'd better belive I'm going to use it in the future.

yerdoingitwrong said...

hey, will you email me?

Lollie said...

If you had written this today, you'd be going to hell because he probably deserves to sit around and do nothing on Father's Day. Maybe he got his days mixed up?

Sugar Kane said...

Hope you're having fun with your sis. Can't wait for the stories!!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Let's see:

Your head hurts because:
1. The children were very loud today and your ears are still ringing.

2. The cleaning solution fumes you used to scrub the house were too strong.

3. You were so busy tending to the house,kids, and work that you did not get to eat and you feel lightheaded.

(hee-hee) Can you tell I've played this little game before?

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Here's the best revenge:

Take a bath and shave your legs and "other" area....make sure he knows you are doing this. Be sure to use the best smelling soaps and lotions you have. Put on a slinky nightgown, get into bed and THEN talk about how bad your head hurts!

I know, I know....I'm evil!

Butrfly4404 said...

Missing the Worker Mommy, that's all....

Worker Mommy said...

To everyone that said "Go to bed in something sexy and then fake a headache" I love it and have every intention of using it if there ever is a next time (which there won't be if I stab him Badoozie !)
and a special shout out to Queen M...for her extra bit of shaving creativity! Ingenious!

All is right in the Worker Mommy househould once again as hubby gently reminded me on several occasions he has done "chores" while I sat on my ass - so realizing he was right I decided to cut him some slack !

Aww Lollie - did you really agree to that ? Did your hubby have to torture you first before getting you to commit to that ? :)

Aww shucks. Missing you too, Butrfly!