Thursday, August 9, 2007

My Children are Pervs

We've always been up front with B and J when they started to become curious about body parts. While hubby wanted to find "alternative" names for their privates I opted for the real thing so as to avoid any confusion later. So it's been established for some time that B has a "penis" and J has a "gina" (we did shorten it for ease in pronunciation) which was important because the twins have always taken baths together and thus were curious about the difference in the way one another's privates looked.

Bathing the kids together began as an "easier for mom kind of thing". Then I realized they preferred taking baths together as having a bathtime companion made for more fun, splashing and giggles and so it continues on to this very day.

Last night, I put them in the bath ,took care of washing them and then let them have play time. I left the bathroom briefly to grab more towels when I heard all sorts of giggling. Even more than normal.

"What's so funny ?" I ask as I head back towards the bathroom.

"We're putting... on B's peen" was all I heard.

Now my son has done some silly things as it relates to his penis. He once figured out that it would fit perfectly in a little mini mug that we got from a gumball machine - which I've captured on film and may show to his future wife dependent on how he treats me during his teen years.
But I digress.

As my son has done some ,er, interesting things involving his privates I hurried back in to the bathroom to see what all the fuss was about. I walk in to both kids lying on their backs and J's got both her feet in B's groin area squishing his penis between them. And they both think this is hysterical.

"Uh Guys" I said not wanting to make them feel dirty "I know the game seems like fun but really you shouldn't be putting your feet on B's privates J. Remember they are his privates and so J you really shouldn't be touching them"

"Ok," they both said much for my lazy parenting. I guess it's time for two seperate baths now.



Whiskeymarie said...

I think you need to print out this post and have them read it when they are adults.
It will be even funnier then, though it's pretty freaking funny now, I must say.

Butrfly4404 said...

I didn't know you were going to do a post on this, or I would have saved my long comment in cherann's comments for YOU. Anyway...good for you for not freaking out. And for teaching them the proper names. I have no problem calling it a 'penis' but for some reason I find it incredibly hard to say 'vagina' in front of the kids. Maybe because my mom called it a yonnie. (The Man calls it a "hoo-ha" - I call it 'privates').

Omaha Mama said...

My SIL talks about how she knew it was time to stop bathing with her bouncing baby boy when he honked her boob. Ah - the milestones we reach as parents!

Funny story!

I have the same issue as your previous commenter - I can say penis with no problem, but struggle saying vagina or vulva. I've always thought about that and whether that is totally sexist of me! Interesting.

~Jennifer said...

Not only can I say vagina and vulva, but I can now say clitoris. This is progress, when my first daughter was born she called it her "hole". Well, that just made me feel really bad. Big brother had a penis and she had a "hole". So, I sucked it up and told her she had a vulva. Then she pointed to her clitoris and said, "what's this?" I wasn't ready for that one yet, but when I finally could say it she went and told her daddy, "Daddy, I have a cliffordus."

Oh boy, Google is gonna have a heyday with your blog now that you have so many pertinent search terms published.

Fourier Analyst said...

What you tell just to get an R-rating on your blog!!

I'm glad I only have girls!

~JJ! said...

Wheee...that is funny.

Love those kids.

Worker Mommy said...

Butfrly - I just went over to Cherann's to check out your comments , thanks.
Yes initially I was like good lord and wanted to freak...but the main thing was to not cause them to feel bad or dirty. After all they are still learning and its up to me to teach them and not shame them.
...Oh no're right now I'm going to attract all the google pervs. Heaven help me now!

Maureen said...

hahahahahah.... so, so glad I only had one child, a girl. I never did have to learn to say "penis" (much to hubby's disappointment).

MommasWorld said...

Cute story.

My older two took baths together until ManSon was about 4 yrs old.

All kids get curious and such at some point.

I opted for the proper names. All was going well until one day 3 year old ManSon was in the kitchen with Grandma. She said �Hello Peanut�. He did not answer right away as he was in thought - why did she call me that? Then says I�m not a peanuts �pulls down shorts�and proudly says �THIS is my peanuts!� Grandma was bend over with laughter and tears streamed down her face. To this I said � Uh, he is only 3 and cannot say penis properly yet.�

Christine said...

We use the "real" names for privates as well. At first it was hard to say vagina; such a harsh, staccato, clinical sounding word vs. the more silly sounding word 'penis'.

BTW, I found my way here via cre8Buzz...

Ba Doozie said...

uh,.,yea we had to use the real name even though "testicles" became "tentacles"

Alex Elliot said...

I love real parenting stories! We use the real words also. I just spent a week at the beach with some friends who don't have kids and the seem to be impressed (or maybe horrified is the right word) with how every time my boys would take off their swim suits (which would of course be in the living room right when we walked in since the older one has no modesty ) they would immediately grab their penises. Sometimes my older one would talk about it because at almost four he likes to talk about who has a penis and who has a vagina.

Oh, The Joys said...

I feel out joint bath days may be numbered too. Urgh!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Is it wrong that I laughed out loud getting a visual of B with his friend in a mini mug...and then laughed harder at the thought of you threating him when he is a teenager? NO? THANK GOODNESS!


cathouse teri said...

That's pretty funny. Yeah, you pretty much can't bathe kids together past the age of two, or you'll have such troubles.

Now some people are okay with promoting public nudity. I don't happen to be one of them.

I guess you just gotta do what you gotta do! :)

cathouse teri said...

I'm reading over the comments. It's weird. I don't remember having much discussion regarding privates, in the sense that I had to really tackle the idea of what to call them. I think I just called them "your privates." Hmmmm... I just don't think we talked about their "things" much. But they seem to have turned out okay. I think they refer to them in slang terms. Like, the boys probably call their penis a dick. I think my daughter doesn't call her vagina anything at all! I mean, it's not like you have to call it in to dinner! hehehe

I know, as an adult, it's only on the occasion of dirty talk that I really have to refer to genitals. Although I have used the word penis when asking my boyfriend, "Is it okay if I'm in love with your penis?" He said, "Yes, as long as you remember it's attached to me!"

(I'm thinking he probably wouldn't be too thrilled about my spreading around the details of our pillow talk, but it is on the subject, right??)

Worker Mommy said...

Oh Teri- You made me freakin' laugh out loud!!! No I guess we really don't have to call our vaginas in for dinner.

Heather said...

I like to confuse by kids by swapping out between the proper name of penis and slang tallywhacker.

slackermommy said...

Two of my kids are 19 months apart. A boy and a girl. I recently had to stop joint baths after a similar episode. It's really hard to not let them see how weird it makes me feel. I blame my mother.

Absolutely Bananas said...

Hilarious. My hubby recently told me that he doesn't like the word penis (I try to be correct in my word usage too). What do you think is better? I asked... and he said WILLY. So... that's the word du jour at our house these days!

Lady Latte said...

Ha, ha I have three girls and then a boy who is the youngest. Since we live in Sweden we are tend to be more comfortable with nudity. Our son has three older sisters and therefore he is used to seeing his sisters run around the house getting dressed.

I realized it was time to separate them being completely nude together when we were in a sauna and his reaction to his penis challenging gravity was: WOW, look at that!!!

As a Mom not wanting him to feel embarassed I just took a cool approach and decided that he is officially to old to be butt naked with other women.

Cherann said...

I think it's harmless...I say continue to bathe them together.