Thursday, September 4, 2008

What not to do when asking for important things from your boss

Kindergarten being the new first grade, I thought it best to adjust my schedule in order to be home earlier in the afternoon to help the twins with the mounds and mounds of homework I'm assured they'll get (and still find time to cook, clean, wash etc).

After much thought, I decided upon 6:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m which would effectively start and end my work day one and a half hours earlier then present day. Yes, that is ridiculously early and no I'm not a morning person but working 30 miles from home it would be necessary to end my work day that early just to get home by 4ish.

My supervisor was on vacation last week which was the week before school started, the week in which I wanted to begin my new hours. I drafted what I thought was a thoughtful email with the request to alter my ongoing schedule. As I pushed send it was as if a weight had been lifted. I just knew she'd agree. After 6 years of loyal service and the way I'd handled things in her absence why would she not? We share a close working relationship , she has a young child of her own. What really was there to think about ?

I left that week assuming I'd start my new schedule the following week but called Bosslady Tuesday afternoon (the twins first day of school) to confirm I could begin my new schedule Wednesday morning.

To my utter suprise I was met with resistance. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement but I sucked it up and agreed to let her think about it more and proceeded to enjoy the remainer of the day.

The following day I arrived at work at 8 a.m. disgruntled but desperately trying to suppress the rage. About an hour after I arrived, Bosslady asked me if I had time to talk about my schedule.

She stepped into my office and closed the door behind her, which I assumed couldn't be good. I was determined to be stone faced and plead my case in such a way that she couldn't do anything but agree to my demands.

She first asked why I wanted to start so early. She then admitted she was worried that me not being available for the customer service aspect of my job in the afternoon might lead more traffic to her door. I said I understood but as I saw it staff didn't tend to need as much service later in the day... and then it happened.

The water works. I begin to bawl.

I was horrified at myself but couldn't stop. "Blah , blah , blah my babies" I whined and "blah, blah they need me".

Lord, what had happened to me to turn me into this pathetic pile of goo?

Damn my hormones.

I apologized. She said not to worry and that she understood.

But I was still embarassed and ready for her to leave my office and hinted as much.

In the end, she offered a compromise. It was for me to start and end one half hour earlier. Not exactly what I wanted but she agreed to revisit it in a few months.

Damn, I thought... there went my dignity and my new schedule in one fell swoop.

And this...this is the reality that is my life. *sigh*


Brillig said...

UGH! I hate that! I'm not a cry-er until the very WORST possible moment to cry, at which point I start bawling. And then I hate myself for it. Sigh. Well, at least you got your half-hour and when it's clear that you're rockin' this new schedule, she'll undoubtedly give you that other half-hour.

In the meantime, I'm sending you a box of virtual kleenex...

MichaƩle said...

Oh, hon, I have SO been-there-done-that. My former boss, whenever had had to bring up a subject he knew I would not be happy about, would preface it with, "Now I don't want to see those big blue eyes fill with tears, ya hear?" Kindergarten is a huge transition for mommies. I bawled my head off on the first day because my baby boy just started senior year.

Elisa said...

oh, I hate that. I am not a cryer either but sometimes it just bubbles up - usually at the worst possible moment and with no real connection to the matter at hand. Frakking hormones.

followthatdog said...

I'm so sorry. I am a cry-er. But only when I'm so angry I could tear someone apart with my bare hands. At that very apex of my rage, I start bawling. SO while this is a different circumstance, I feel for you. I am sorry this talk went this route, I hope you are able to "revisit" it in a month and pull your schedule back to where you want it.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Dude, I hate to be the naysayer, but it all comes down to the other people in your office getting jealous. I had "flex" hours, too, and the bitches I worked with ended up throwing a hissy fit that would give Shannon Doherty a run for her money. They had older kids and were mad that they hadn't had the opportunity to do the same when their kids were small. I hope your boss does reconsider after a few months, but be prepared for the whole "it's not fair to others in the office" speech. So much for supporting our fellow women.

Shana said...

I did the same thing way back when I was a working girl. Just trying to ask the boss for a little more flexibility with where I was being assigned and boom. Tears and incoherent speech.
Needless to say I didn't get what I was after...I wonder if it would have been different if my boss had been male. The tears might have worked on a man. But then I would have felt like crap because I got my way by crying.
I hope everything works out for you.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I started crying my eyes out in my principal's office (AKA my boss) when she changed my schedule on me at the last minute. I was MORTIFIED and could not escape quickly enough either.

I hate that my every emotion is demonstrated with STINKING TEARS!

Can we start a support group for this? name is Queen and I am a huge baby.

Ann(ie) said...

My name is Annie and I'm a huge baby, too. I wanna join the support group! I hate crying at work and that's usually what happens if and when I'm pushed to the brink and then I cry that ugly cry and feel like a big doofus. And then I go home and pour the largest glass of wine on the planet. And Mateo says there there. You're not alone, love. xo.

Debbie said...

I hate it when the tears come. Especially if there is some man around. Hope it all goes well for you.

MadWoman said...

Oh man. Been there, believe me. The waterworks start at the most inopportune moments, and usually the most dignity crushing.

Well, maybe she'll spend a couple days thinking about it and feel considerably guilty and cave. Good luck!

Oh...I tagged you!

CDP said...

Oh, I hate when that happens. Hope your schedule works out. The homework thing isn't that bad when you get accustomed to it.

Jumpin' On My Last Nerve said...

I am SO right there with you. I just started back to work (where I worked 5 years ago before the twins). The working hours issue was just as much of a pain for me and a VERY emotional subject. I was able to work out a compromise too, but our whole world has been turned upside down by school and work. Craziness has its own room in our house.

Kristin.... said...

Oh yuck. I'm sorry that happened. I've been out of the workforce for almost 4 years, and I can only imagine how I'll be when I return (I only had 1 kid when I was working and now I have 4!)

Virtualsprite said...

I do the same thing, and I hate it about myself. I can utterly sympathize here. As soon as I feel like things aren't working or I get frustrated, I just start to cry and I can't help myself.

Which is odd, because I don't cry over anything else.

But I hope everything works out.

Naarski (the Mrs.) said...

omg! I do this all the time now! It is horrible! Like, why am I crying? We can work thru this? Wow, I thought I was the only one. Damn hormones is right.