Tuesday, May 19, 2009

With a little bit of salt, this foot might taste a right bit of good

Remembering that my boss had left early yesterday to get her hair cut and colored I walked in to her office saying "'Morning, lets see that new 'do".

She turned her head from side to side letting me get a good look at her coif.

"I wish I could have seen it yesterday" I said.

"I wish I could have seen it yesterday" The hell??! I could hear the record scratching loudly in my brain.

Not "cute" or "nice" or even "cool" but "I wish I could have seen it yesterday"

I think I meant well. I think I was ... Wait a minute I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Clearly the caffeine had not reached that filter in my brain that keeps me from making such ass-clownian statements.

So I tried my hardest to get my foot unlodged from my throat but only made it worse.

"I mean it's so hard to replicate what the hair stylist does" "I mean I never can get my hair looking as good as when I step out of the salon" "Uh..." (what the hell did I mean)?

My boss simply stared at me saying nothing. Which I'm quite sure was a good thing. Because I really didn't want to hear where and what I could do with my stuttering stumbling mess of a self.

Finally , my brain kicked into action and said "it's cute"

But it was too late. The damage was done , the words were out there.

As I practically ran away from her office feeling all kinds of dumb, I thought about returning and admitting to my idiocy and apologizing.

But it really didn't matter because the fact is that she still knows I am not in love with her new hairstyle. Which is in fact a cute style but just not the most flattering for her.

And to make matters worse, my co-worker came in just minutes ago exclaiming "It looks so cute" with such genuiness that I am now hiding in my office feeling about the size of an ant's pinkie toenail.*sigh*

Note to self: Work on ability to lie. It will help you immensely.

Or better yet, start slapping yourself because you've just got to be asleep and this is all just an awful awkard nightmare.


mamikaze said...

Major suckage. Time for a self-editing refresher course! I'll join you.

Dumblond said...

Oh nooo. That is going to take awhile to get past. For at least a month, she is going to give you the stink-eye whenever you talk to her.
Maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe she is not the type to hold grudges...

Anonymous said...

LOL That would be something I would say.

Virtualsprite said...

I've been there. It's humiliating. Unfortunately, I have no advice for you. I'm sure it will blow over eventually.

Lollie said...

Hmmmm, yeah, that a "FuckOhDear" if I ever heard one. Sorry pal!

Life As I Know It said...

oh noooo...I've definitely had moments like that too. Usually I just pretend they never happened and make them magically disappear from my brain and then if someone brings it up just say "I have no idea what you're talking about".

Ann(ie) said...

Um, been there. Too many times to count. :( And I usually keep blabbing and make it way worse. Have two margaritas and call me in the morning, girlie.

mo.stoneskin said...

The good thing is that an "ant's pinkie toenail" is pretty damn small, so you may be able to remain hidden forever!

Dave said...

hmm.. nice blog tho lol

odat_kim said...

Depending on the type of woman your boss is, she probably knows and may acknowledge at some future point that you didn't lie your ass off.

Oddly, I won't lie to someone about their hair which is weird seeing as many women are sensitive about it.

Mommy Lisa said...

My girlfriend found a card once for her boyfriend when she said somthing dumb. It read...

Tea Time you Fuck Pig! (on front, picture of butler and old guy in a big comfy chair)

Was it something I said? (inside)

But, that would probably go over like a lead balloon. ;)

Cheer up! We are all just a word away from doing the same.

Mama G said...

I'll be interested in hearing what she has to say the next time you come in to the office with a new do ... :)

WM said...

Probably something to the effect "you paid for that!?"

And I will have to take it :(

Debbie said...

Nooooo. Please tell me this didn't really happen. I feel for you. My brain must have temporarily had control over your mouth.

Scout's Honor said...

ack! that's all I can say. ack! Heh! It is what it is. Maybe she'll appreciate the honest reaction rather than the brown-nosers of the office, eh?

Whiskeymarie said...

I recently had a coworker overhear me basically saying that they didn't know how to do their job.

Um...oops. MAJOR oops.

Maybe we just shouldn't leave the house- ever.

Zzzzzz said...

What is your friend's name?

rachel - a southern fairytale said...


I hope she isn't the vindictive kind of boss!

It's SO hard to compliment someone when you don't mean it..

:-) GREAT favorite post!