Thursday, July 19, 2007

Introducing the Perfect Mom...Well Almost

I took the twins to the dentist this morning.

I was a bit worried before going, because while B had handled his prior two visits like a champ ,J had cried each time.

Before we went , I talked with J and told her there wasn't a need to be scared because the dentist was only going to look at her teeth and that even if she did get scared mommy would be right there.

She seemed satisfied and said "Ok, Mommy, I won't cry" and off we went.

When we walked in to the dentists office B & J proceeded to charm the pants off of everyone with choruses of "Hello" and "Nice to meet you" to the staff and other patients in the waiting room.

"They're so cute" I heard from not one but two parents in the waiting room. Silently I hoped that they'd stay "cute". Because I knew that tearing them away from the games and toys in the waiting room could possibly be an all out war.

Moments later the hygienist called us. So I braced myself and said "C'mon guys, its our turn to see the dentist"

"Okay Mom," B says "Okay, Mom" J says as they followed me back to the patient rooms.

Back in the patients area, I waited for the madness to begin as I tried to keep an eye on both children in an area full of stickers, shiny tools and chairs that moved up and down like amusement park rides.
But, to my suprise, they both sat by me and watched intently as the hygienist instructed us on how to properly brush and floss.

When the dentist came, both B & J were attentive and did everything they were instructed to and even thanked him when he was done.
B even went so far as to hug the hygienist.

I was feeling pretty good about myself thinking how I must look to the staff. I mean these children are well behaved, polite, articulate and cute to boot. I am the perfect mommy...I thought patting myself on the back.

Before we left B asked if he could play the video games again for a bit. I reluctantly said yes knowing I needed to head out to work. But, hell who would it hurt. Besides he'd made me look been so good I just couldn't refuse him.

So I let him and his sister play games for about five minutes and let them know at the end of each minute how much time they had. And guess what ? It worked. At the end of five minutes,no fights, no nothing they simply took my hands and headed towards the door but not before saying "Bye, see you next time" to the staff.

I really am the perfect parent I thought as we headed to the car.

Once in the car, still on cloud nine, I looked back at them and said "You guys were so good in the dentists office you deserve a reward" So we headed off to our favorite reward store (aka Dollar Tree).

I was really feeling good about, well, about me and my stellar parenting skills as we sauntered down the aisles looking for the perfect reward.

Until I heard screams and stomping.

I turned around to see my two angels fighting. I mean physically fighting... and over ant killer no less and they were drawing a crowd.

As I quickly tried to control the melee , my shoulders slumped. My little angels had turned in to little devils in 5 minutes flat!

Fuckity, fuck , fuck....I guess thats what I get for being so full of myself in the first place.

That'll teach me to do that again!


Ally said...

There's nothing like naughty behavior to remind me that just as I can't take credit for all of the good, I can't be blamed for all of the bad...

Sounds like you DID do a good job prepping them from the dentist, so you still deserve a pat on the back.

Slackermommy said...

Oh yeah, I make that mistake all the time. We are such suckers!

Whiskeymarie said...

That damn cockiness will bite you in the ass every time.
Way to use "fuck".
We'll get you that NC-17 yet!

Lollie said...

Don't feel bad - the dollar store can make anyone change their spots and go crazy in a hot minute.

ps - I'm using fuckity, fuck, fuck somewhere in my day tomorrow

Lollie said...

...But not during the time when I'm taking my 4 year old niece to see Ratatouille.

Marine Wife said...

See...they sucker you in with that angel stuff and then they stick it to ya! Don't be too hard on yourself or them. They made it through the dentist's office with no trauma to them or anyone else. That's a HUGE accomplishment!

Fourier Analyst said...

Ah hubris, thy name is "perfect Mommy". Been there. Done this. Still haven't learned. Hope does spring eternal it seems! You should be proud that at least one audience got to see them behaving. My luck it only seems to happen when no one else is around to notice!

Anonymous said...

Oh Man. I know that one.

Angel/Devil right before your eyes...I think Fa has that perfect!!!!

Worker Mommy said...

Thanks for the props, WM. I'm really trying for that NC-17...

And don't want your niece to tell people she saw fuckity fuck fucking Ratatouille today. You might not ever be allowed near her again.

Butrfly4404 said...

"Fuckity, fuck , fuck"

Hahah - that's WONDERFUL!

You're a genius.

That always sucks when you're getting them something for being good and they start fighting. I took away going to the park today because they started fighting. When I went to tell them that I'd changed my mind (they quieted down and did what they were supposed to), they started in with the "She whipped this at me!" "Well he hit me!" "Yeah, cuz she KICKED me." "Hey! You said I was stupid!"

Thanks, guys.


Chaos Control said...

Every time I start to feel all full of myself and my stellar parenting skills, relatively kicks me right in the ass and sets me straight! You're SO not alone!!!

~Jennifer said...

It's moments like that, at the dollar store, where you calmly say, "Come here you two! Your mom is not going to be happy when she hears about this!" ;-)

Congratulations on the successful dentist visit, though. I know that's always a relief.

Omaha Mama said...

Just stopped over from Oh The Joys. Your name interested me as a fellow workin mom.

I know all about tantrums on reward trips - it's fun, isn't it?!

Anonymous said...

as I was reading this I figured it would all never fail ya.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Kids certainly have a way of knocking us down, huh?!

Brillig said...

hahaha. They certainly have a way of bringing us down a notch. Still, though, your description of the dentist's office is so incredible. Think you could take my kids next time? You clearly have a magic touch! (And then you can just skip the dollar store afterwards...)

Ann(ie) said...

heeeheeeeeeeeeee! So close. I'm usually patting myself on the back right b/f a meltdown, too.

And anyone who says fuckity fuck will be a friend of mine for life!!! =P

Sugar Kane said...

Ah, from angels to demons in under a minute. I've been there many times.

Cherann said...

At least it wasn't in front of the people at the Dentist's office. Those people are little less forgiving because soooo many people hate being at the dentist's let alone being at the dentist office with screaming children.