Wednesday, June 23, 2010

No more Pencils , No more books...

School ended for my kids last Friday and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jumping for nine different kinds of joy.

First I shall say the requisite (and true): my kids attend a great school with excellent teachers, are really blossoming as learners and I intend to encourage that in any way I can.


Now that that's out of the way.Let me say it to you all, because we're that kind of honest with each other, right?

Homework sucks!

I thought I'd been freed of nightly homework many moons ago.

Not.So. Every night from September to June, I'd sit alongside of my kids and pour through pages of homework while secretly wanting to rip my hair out (ok, so maybe some of it was mildly fun. But only when I wasn't dog tired from work which is never. And the geometry for 1st graders = sheer torture)

Many a day I prayed for the secret homework fairy (I think she's part of the calgon take me away family) to come and take over. She never did.

But now, I have 2 months of peace and while this summer won't be completely academic free it is homework free and for that I am in hog heaven.

School's out for summer, bitches!

What isn't funnier than an Alice Cooper /Muppet performance?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Oh Em Gee, I may have been outed today.

Really, I don't know if you can call it outed as there are many people in my life that know about this blog.

But then there are others (coworkers, parents and teachers at my kids school) that aren't aware of this here blog. And I intended to take my little bloggy secret to the grave.

This has been my space to be free from rules, free to say whatever I pleased, however I pleased and never the two worlds shall meet.

I suppose I was just fooling myself. Way down deep I knew the day would come...

What is all this about, you might ask ? Maybe nothing, maybe something.

You see I went to a demo today for a new parental guidance monitoring software called GoGo Stat (more on that later) and afterwards was asked by one of the media if I wouldn't mind being interviewed on camera.

Before really even thinking about what that meant , I had given my first and last name , the name of my blog and was answering questions. In an interview. On camera. For the local news.

I felt good once I was done, until I left and realized all the aforementioned people may see the interview if it makes it to the boob tube.

(And worse still... if tv adds 10lbs, how fat did I look?)

Several hours and some measured breathing later, I've decided: I.just.don'

This is me. Like it. Hate it. It's me. I'm a parent and I'm not perfect and I have an online space where I share stories about myself and my children which (gasp) are sometimes raw and dotted with curses, sometimes ridiculous and downright silly. But they're real and they're honest. So screw it.

If I'm outed. I'm outed

There are far worse things I could be doing.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

At what Point do I say I've crashed and burned ?

Remember this plan ?

I knew that it was nuts when I originally thought of it; but I wanted to believe in myself. I wanted to believe I could change.

Today, however, I've come to the realization that there are some things that can't just shouldn't be changed (my desire to sleep as long as I can is high atop that list).

That said, there's this part of me ,my inner cheerleader, that refuses to accept defeat and continually tells me " Don't give up just yet! Some things require multiple attempts ". She and her crazymaking self are causing me to consider joining one of those brutal morning workout boot camps and paying to have someone abuse me.

But that's probably a disaster waiting to happen. Being told to "PUSH HARDER" and "GIVE IT MY ALL" at 5 in the morning would surely make me want to cutabitch.

So yeah, I think I'll just smother her with my pillow.

And instead continue with my evening workouts. Besides I've got serious motivation! It's kind of a secret. But lets just say I'll have to wear a swimsuit a lot (and if you guessed that I got a modeling gig you'd be correct!)

Ok's so not even close to that. Don't drink and read. Also, crack kills!


P.S. - Since we're kinda talking fitness feel free to check out my review on Crystal Light Pure Fitness water