You'd think that I would have come in to work rejuvenated. But no. I'm feeling kind of surly today. Mainly, because I'm here at work. I enjoy what I do (and the company I do it for) but generally I don't enjoy the fact that I have to work.
I hit this point at some time each year. I just get burnt out. I get tired.
I constantly dream about winning the lottery and having the luxury of choosing whether or not I get up each day and face the grind.
In the past when this has happened, I'd go home each night and vent to hubby. "Oh no" he'd say fearing I might just up and quit but as I am a little over one month shy of my five year anniversary with this company they must be doing something right to prevent me from running for the hills. I guess there are some perks that I haven't had at other jobs. Its a small, fairly laid back company . My boss, with whom I get along very well, has a toddler only one year younger than the twins so she gets it . I make a decent salary,
So why am I feeling this way ?
Because time flies and I don't want to miss a thing. The twins are soon to be four and next year they will start kindergarten. TomGirl already has a "boyfriend" (well sort of - she's not allowed to go out on dates yet but they've established that they like one another, he's given her a bracelet and they talk on the phone constantly). She's 14 now and pretty soon she'll be driving, going out on dates and everything else that goes along with being a teenager. GPT is a talented singer and wants to try out for American Idol in a couple of years. Being a part of these things is the way I want to spend my time. Not behind a desk.
I try and capitalize on the moments I do have and maximize the "free time" I get but sometimes two days just doesn't cut it! I mean when do I get to catch a break?
Sometimes in life we just need to make our own breaks. So I took an impromptu day off and lied about why I wasn't coming in to the office and dammit I will not feel guilty about it !!!
Ok, there I got it all out.
It felt good to confess - but now I'm worried.
Could the wrong internet search by an employee of my company lead them to my blog and cause me to wind up like this?
Gah, I really can't catch a break can I?
I am a SAHM right now, but I keep thinking that I need to get back to work. At times I think I would be a better mom to my boys if I were a working mom.
ReplyDeleteWe all need to have time to ourselves.
http://mommybrainvictim.wordpress.com
I so get you! Hahaha...work is what reminds me to CHECK my lotto tickets.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I don't even really hate my job. As far as the Jobs go, I got a decent one, anyone.
I just feel like I'm wasting my life, particularly in my car (TWO mf'ing hours a day - how long do you commute?)
I get it worse this time of year, too (also: depression, yay!), I think it's because it's so nice out now! ;)
I'm trying to save my sick days so I can do exactly what you did. Last year, we all called in sick and took the kids fishing. One of the best days ever - and I hate fishing!
I wouldn't feel guilty about it. ALl your coworkers lie and take days off all the time!
I think "mental health day" is accurate! haha. And say goodbye to the guilt. Guilt is what we moms do best, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI love the part of your post that you "crossed out." Hahaha
You know Lene, I think the grass is always greener...as the saying goes.
ReplyDeletePerfect world I'd work part time - never any more than 20 hrs week )and thats pushing it).
Butrfly- I spend about the same amount of time in my commute. Its a little over an hour with rush hour traffic. I think thats what's most frustrating for me!